Wow, what a turn this thread has taken... I know this is gonna ruffle
some feathers, but still I press on. Am I a glutton for punishment
Pamela, I would have had the same guttural response had I been in
your shoes. I agree, she was sneaky. Coming to a private show and
not wanting to introduce herself to the artist, she reluctantly gave
you her name? That would have my knickers in a bunch for sure! It's
one thing to try and fly under the radar, it's another thing to try
things on, say "I'll call you" and then be reluctant with her
name.... She should have come clean and introduced herself from the
start. Perhaps she had no bad intentions, she just happened to be
there with a friend. This all could have been a big misunderstanding
because she didn't act properly from the start. I've been there,
I've done that, it's an awkward situation to back out of. Perhaps
trying to hide who she is was the only way she could think of saving
face because she knew she used poor judgement in the first place.
I'm not making excuses for the customer, she could have been spying-
who knows? Nobody knows but the customer herself. Like I said, been
there- on the awkward customer/designer side. It's a bad place to be
and perhaps her uncomfortableness is what raised the warning flags
Pamela had no idea what this woman was up to, and if her gut told her
that something was amiss, than I think she should trust that feeling.
That doesn't mean her assumptions were correct- what I'm saying is
that it's okay to trust yourself.
I feel like Pamela has been jumped on for her response, and most have
cried "over-reaction". Coming from someone who is a passionate
person- I grew up in a french/italian household, I never heard the
phrase "over-react" until high school, it was just not used in our
household. I too am someone that is often accused of over-reacting.
(If ya'll think Pamela is overreacting, let me introduce you to my
For a while (and if this is too deep into my psyche for most to read,
by all means hit "delete" on your computer) I tried to keep those
feelings inside because in our American culture, it's not appropriate
to "react" in the way that comes from our heart and soul- to each it
is different-- people are very quick to use "over-react" to dismiss
how others are feeling-- and to shut them up. Bottling up feelings is
a bad thing to do, it gets you in trouble both spiritually and
physically. Do you know how many ailments are caused from stress, and
did you know that we as Americans top the charts in stress related
conditions? I myself have had a number of stress related ailments
over the years until I discovered the only cure was being myself and
speaking my truths how and when I feel them.
Everyone responds differently to different situations. Perhaps hiring
a lawyer would have been "over-reacting", but what Pamela did was
write this woman a letter telling her how she felt and asking her
not to copy her designs. I see nothing wrong with this. I think she
handled it in the way she saw fit, and she handled it in a
One more thing... notice Pamela didn't ask if she "over-reacted"---
she asked if she "reacted well":
"The question is did I react well or is there something else I can do
so this woman will be deterred from doing it to someone else? "
And Pamela, I think your work is beautiful.
Good luck with everything.
Amery Carriere Designs
Romantic Jewelry with an Edge