I also very much appreciate you also saying I need not put myself
under any pressure to produce. Thatâs extremely gracious of you.
unctioning autistics currently, alive, and could very well have
continued to work but for depression. and PTSD which further inhibit
my. socialskills, and affected my work. history to the point where
no. employer onGodâs green earth would. even consider hiring me in
any. capacity or trade. Further, most. every workplace is now so.
very team oriented that people are. now selected for their
personality. traits rather than for actualskills or. competence.
They would rather train. up thier own rather than take a. chance on
an outstanding worker. who they see as socially unfit. I. ha.d been
able to get by in the past. by asking for and accomplishing solo.
projects. But these days perceived. or actual problems with social
skills. will no longer be excused by. technical excellence. That is
why I. now .unemployable and judged eligible for SSDI, which because
I had managed, in spite of all which i suffered, to keep myself
together just long enough to receive an embarrassingly high check
each month. Not to also mention that my wife and I pooled our
retirement funds for a down payment on a house with some money for
anything my wife wanted to buy as furnishings. Igot the shed as a
bargain with her to the effect that the spare bedroom inthe 3BR
house could be hers in exchange for a shed up to $5000.
I bootstrapped my own upbringing from a very early age, from a
horribly dysfunctional family, with only three assets available to
me: my grandfather, who passed on from liver cancer when I was 12,
books of all kinds proving to be faithful and constant friends, and
an intelligence level too high to be measured by tests for children.
That was ALL I had for too many long years. I escaped by taking
advantage of all opportunities to improve my situation, such as
skipping all of junior high. Amateur radio was another big help,
which led me into a careerin engineering.
I had no childhood friends but plenty of children who went out of
thier wayto be cruel because I was different. Both my parents were
abusive with my father especially capable of bizzare behavior.
I was completely disgusted and ashamed of being human so I renounced
my humanity for several long years. It wasnât until I was 18 and a
junior in college when I befriended a lady who helped me understand
over the following year that being human wasnât such a bad thing
after all. Her final lesson was herself: five absolutely magical
nights given by her as my Christmas present. We then had to part
ways but not for reasons of rejection. She saidthe world and people
needed me and it would be unfair for me to be tied down to a lady
nearly twice my age. But without her wisdom and encouragementI would
never have gained the courage to venture into the world and take
achance on becoming vulnerable to more people than her. She was a
former child prodigy herself but at a much high level, more
intelligent than I was, than I was above average.
So I therefore dare ANYONE to say that my shed is a luxury. I earned
it with a lifetime of hard work in spite of rejection and a million
tears along the way.
am using your gifts wisely with whatever resources I can apply
ingenuity to.
As Hurin in the Silmarillion had said: âDay shall come again!â
Andrew Jonathan Fine