Hi Valerie,
It’s very sweet that your sweetie wants to do that for you. I’m sure
it’s a bit of a tough situation. When I got engaged, I wasn’t yet
doing metalsmithing, so there wasn’t quite that dilemma, but there
was a little bit with the ring that I wanted. It was a family ring.
My grandfather was a jeweler, and he’d set a nice-sized mine cut
diamond for his wife-to-be. Years later he wanted her to have a
brilliant cut, so he made a new ring for her with a brilliant cut of
about the same size as the mine cut was. He also had the old mine cut
stone re-cut as a brilliant & put it away for safe keeping. Many
years later my dad bought that stone, and my grandfather once again
set it (“under duress”, as he said), and it became my mother’s
engagement ring.
When I was getting serious with my boyfriend, my mother mentioned
that her engagement ring could be mine. She was now wearing my
grandmother’s second ring & had put her ring away for me to have. I
could either just use the diamond, or use it as it was, it was up to
me. It happened to fit (yes, I tried it on), and my grandfather (by
that time deceased) had set it, so I wanted it just the way it was.
Plus, it was platinum! 
So, then I had to convince my boyfriend
that THAT was the ring I wanted. He felt wierd, it wasn’t as if it
was a ring from HIS family, and he was giving it to me. He wanted to
be the one buying it. Well, what difference did it make, if it was
the ring I wanted? Besides, it saved him a chunk of change! I
finally convinced him, and without me knowing it, he flew to my
parents’ house, cooked them dinner, and asked for the ring (and my
hand to put it on). Sweet. Sort of like buying it, right?
So now a second little story. I sell jewelry at a local gallery, and
a bit before Christmas a couple went in there & the woman really
loved a particular ring I’d made, and it just happened to be her
size. Her boyfriend bought it, and I later found out that it was to
be an engagement/wedding ring. She’s an art teacher, I think, at a
local college, and she wanted something “different”. Mind you, this
ring is not really out of the ordinary in general, just not your
average wedding band or engagement ring. A simple, wide silver band,
with a bezel set oval-shaped royal blue dichroic glass cab. Oh, and a
swirly visual texture engraved all over the metal.
I heard back from her soon after that she loved the ring, but just
because she was committing to one man, that didn’t mean she needed
to commit to one ring, so she wanted a second one in a different
color & slightly different style. I went to great lengths to find
just the right piece of glass for her, and so I made her a second
ring, this one with a different finish & a square-shaped cab. What
I’m getting at, is she went to a local gallery & found a ring she
liked, and then because she liked the (local) artist’s work, was able
to commission something else from her, too. So, maybe you could scout
through local galleries that sell artists’ work & see if there’s
something you’d like as an “engagement ring”, but that’s not a
typical one. What matters in the end, is that what he gives you is
something that you really love. Heck, even if it’s not a ring.
Lisa
Designs by Lisa Gallagher
