Hi Ruth,
Good to hear from you.
Oh dear, the expression of someone's love and commitment to me
would be to let me choose the ring which I will have to wear. My
partner is intuitive about this (that could be due to a bad past
experience) and listens closely to the clues. Such as "oh I do like
that. I would wear that. Can I have that for my
birthday/Christmas." It works very well.
I didn’t mean that the partner shouldn’t take into account the likes
and preferences of their intended. One would hope that, by the time
someone decided to propose and enter into an engagement, they would
have learned enough about the person they were committing to to know
what they like or dislike… If this empathy isn’t there one would
have to wonder about the chances of the relationship lasting… :-\
What I was intending to suggest was that the ring should not just be
something the partner has been sent out to buy but should
incorporate something of their own style - i.e. it should be a part
of the partner’s personality that you wear close to yourself and
should constantly remind you of them - not just the shopping
catalogue you saw it in… (don’t take that the wrong way!!)
Good luck with your recovery. I hope you are both keeping well.
Best wishes,
Ian
Ian W. Wright
Sheffield UK
Valerie,
Many congragulations and wishes for good luck! When you find “the
One”, it is a blessing indeed. My wonderful husband and I have found
marriage to be the fabulustre that continually polishes us. Cosmic
sandpaper through which we are constantly honed toward our individual
perfection. Neither one of us is there yet, well, he may be more
than me. Just hold on and always remember that if any discord comes
up, this is only a test. Take a little rest, do a little honest
thinking, and you will have the best relationship you ever thought
possible.
I have to concur with Ruth and all of the others that said they
would prefer to be chief design decider. You are the one who will
have to wear the ring and every bride gazes at her ring for hours
out of her life. It is the most intimate piece of jewelry you will
own and it must be mostly your taste.My husband doesn’t have the
same preferences as me and it would have been a disappointment had
we gone with his wishes. In fact, it kind of was. I wanted a rock,
found a beautiful five carat pale canary emerald cut that I loved.
And a good price too. He nixed that and wanted me to have a tiny
stone since I am a tiny person, to him it was just a ring. Well, I
have a not so tiny one carat but I really wanted a bigger stone.
I love my engagement ring but it still looks little to me and I try
to doll it up with an enhancer, which is flashy but that feels fake.
So I default to just wearing my band. In the meantime, since getting
married, I have spent way more money than a large stone would have
cost, buying a lot of jewelry and jewels (inventory), getting into
jewelry making, just because I wanted that one stone. It is
something we have recently talked over and it was refreshing to get
it out.
Most important is to know yourself. Be honest about what you want.
If you can’t talk about this and work it out together, then the
other things after the wedding will be more difficult to handle.
(That first year is a huge adjustment period!). I have a great
marriage thanks to a great partner, and one day will have that big
stone. Right now I am just working on getting a few more of my
personal facets perfected.
Nel