Uknu is the original blue gemstone of ancient history. It was
used to carve beads and pendants, and create inlaid jewelry as
far back as 3100 BC. Uknu’s Latin name, for those of you who
don’t have enough trouble with English, and need to fill your
heads with as much useless as your brains can
absorb…Uknu’s Latin name is Lazulus, which means Blue Stone,
and it was from here that Lapis Lazuli got it’s name. Me,
personally, I prefer Uknu. Has a ring to it, dontcha think?
It was a favorite in olden days, our Lapis was. The year is
1787. The place is Russia. It’s the Renaissance Period in Europe.
Sophia Augusta Frederica, also known as Catherine the Great,
empress of Russia, is disturbed from her daily schedule to be
told that over there, near Lake Baikal, they had discovered
Lapis. So what does Cathy do? Hey, she does what you or I would
do. She orders mining to commence immediately.
Listen. This is the stuff the Chinese used for carving back in
circa 551 B.C. This is the stuff the Greeks used for carving
scarabs and scaraboids. In circa AD 55, this is the stuff Greek
physicians used as antidote for snake poison. It was also good
for intermittent fever and for depression. Psychologists and
Psychiatrists were charging by the hour, and quite frankly, if
you felt depressed, a good Lapis Lazuli could end up saving you a
fortune in medical health bills.
So Cathy had the stuff mined, and brought in a room in her
palace, where she decorated the walls and the doors and the
fireplaces and the mirror frames with it. Clearly, she wasn’t
taking any chances with the possibility of a sudden attack of
depression, or a snake bite. Or even both…perish the thought.
Oh great moon god, Sin. How do I address thee? Well, me, I would
probably call him Sin and be done with it. But not the
Assyrians. They paid Sin the ultimate compliment by using Lapis
Lazuli as a standard of comparison. They said, Oh great god,
strong as a bull, with great horns of perfect proportions and a
long flowing beard as bright as Lapis Lazuli…This is all a
paraphrase rather than a quote, because, though the thought I
express is true, the way I express it is a tad subjectively
In ancient Egypt, an amulet by the name of Tet, was made of
lapis in order to protect mummies, though I don’t know what you
protec a mummy from. And here in America, in a sophisticated
manufacturing establishment by the name of Tyler-Adam Corp, laden
with skilled tradesmen, our little elves are at the ready, at the
beck and call of all who need them, to make amulets of great
potency for those who need protection against snake bite, or
melancholy, or even fever brought on by all sorts of evil things
in the air.
And there ya have it.
That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
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