Let me tell you a tale of a man. A man who has–as his heritage–the
dubious honor of having more jewelry bought in his name than anyone
else that ever lived.
There was a god named Lupercus. He was a Roman god. His memory was
celebrated in the times of Caesar. He was the god of agriculture. He
was the god of spring. Myth has it that a cave named after him was
the very cave in which Romulus and Remus were reared by a she-wolf.
The rites of Lupercus were exciting. On his day…the Luperci…men
prancing naked–covered only by goat skins–struck the women they met
with strips of goat in an effort to promote fertility.
During these rites our young men chose their partners for erotic
games by drawing billets (pieces of paper) with women’s names on them.
The church denounced these customs as lewd and heathen.
Juno…goddess of love… dominated the times. The church–in an
effort to quell these pagan customs–elected a Roman youth–at this
point unnamed–to help remedy the problem. Little did the young man
know he was to be an instrument of the church…to be
sacrificed–when needed–in order to suppress these lascivious
I extrapolate. The festivities are in full swing. The billets with
various women’s names are ready for picking. Our young man picks his
billet and approaches his love for the day. And he is then summarily
executed and made into a martyr by the church for having died in an
effort to celebrate the rites of spring. Clearly…rampant
fornication promised nothing less than death. Some say the young man
was a priest. Others say he was a bishop. Regardless…his death
created one of the best known martyrs to mankind.
So now…before we reveal our young martyr’s name…a few little
facts to titillate your senses. Juno…goddess of love was also known
as Juno Februata (February?)…goddess of the fever (febris in Latin)
of love. And those little billets that started this whole love-making
…orgiastic indulging…heady excitement of the day…these little
billets were the prototypes of what we today call Valentines. Don’t
tell me you guys don’t give your lady friends these little cards
accompanied by a gift at times without ulterior motives. Have things
changed so much since Roman times? Nah. It’s all the same. Except
that today we use cashmere instead of goatskins.
As to our poor lad…the one who was executed by the church in order
to create a martyr and a religious icon which would quell the
blasphemous fornication that was running amuck in Rome…well…he was
named Saint Valentine. And he became the patron of lovers in whose
name Hallmark Greeting Cards pulls in no mean fortune at this time of
year…never mind the chocolatiers…and the florists…and Tyler-Adam
Corp. Oops. Did I say Tyler-Adam Corp? Heh heh. Just joking.
Well…not really. I just got hold of a lightweight bracelet with a
heart ready for engraving dangling from one end. I know it’s
late…but is it ever too late to give your loved one something
special…in memory of Lupercalia? To see our bracelet…and the
heart…and the incredibly low price–I know this is self-serving but
what can I do–follow the directions below.
For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at www.tyler-adam.com where you will
scroll down the table menu till you get to the box that says
Tidbits…and inside the box where it says Tidbit Graphics…click on
the link that says: Valentine…where you will see a graphic of our
bracelet and heart.
And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks. Catch you all next
week. Benjamin Mark
TYLER-ADAM CORP.–Jewelry Manufacturers
E-Mail to: firstname.lastname@example.org