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[Tidbits] Locks and Keys


#1

For those of you who guessed Merle Oberon to last week’s query… may
I say correctamundo!

And may I add… there’s a wee bit of a query at the end of this
Tidbits. And so…

Locks and Keys

Or is it Locks and Bagels? Or Lox and Bagels? Or Lox Ness Monster? Or
Loch Ness Monster? Oy. English is so difficult.

But as long as we’re all on topic… let me tell you a bit about
Locks and Keys. In olden times the significance of placing a ring
upon a lady’s finger was the promise of equal authority in the
household and the entrusting of wealth. Modernization has replaced
this archaic custom with the sleek and streamlined pre-nuptial
agreement which promises equally no authority or the entrusting of
wealth. But I digress.

19th Century. South Germany. Bavaria. A jeweler–unknown-- sits at
his bench… probably humming to himself the soft tones of Wagner…
meddling with metal… creating a ring with… yup… you guessed
it… locks and keys. It is to be a Silver Bavarian Marriage Ring. It
is to symbolize the responsibility and control a wife will now be
privy to as he and she enter the realms of matrimonial bliss.

As time goes by she will come to fully understand the power
bequeathed unto her. Let her jingle her keys in front of her husband
on a Wednesday… and he will go mad. This can be most opportune if
she is in the midst of a fling with the stable boy and the husband
walks in on them as they have a go at it in the hay. Whaddya mean you
saw (jingle jingle). You didn’t see nuthin’ (jingle jingle). Are you
going mad?

Of course… as I know you all know…one is wont to grab one’s keys
if one encounters a phantom, witch, priest, or magician. This will do
absolutely nothing… however… when drowning… any straw on a wave
and all that. Why one would need this tactic with a priest is
something for philosophers to ponder for this in an area in which I
dare not delve.

For those of you who prefer the pragmatic… I offer this bit of
knowledge. Should you one day in your travels encounter a werewolf…
you have but to take your key and beat him to a pulp ensuring that
you draw blood… and poof… that werewolf will become again the
human it once was. These instructions of course come with the
precautionary warning to avoid being eaten by the little beastie
while you’re trying to beat the crap out of him.

As to locks… the ingenuity behind these little gadgets date back to
705 BC and defy description in the limited space provided here…
except for this one wee bit of a query. When it comes to locks with
pin tumblers… where do you all think they were first invented?
Email me if you dare. I tend to think this won’t be as easy as Merle
Oberon.

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at www.tyler-adam.com where you will
scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Current Tidbits… and you will get to see this pretty little
symbolic ring women of the day liked to wear.

And there ya have it.
That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
Benjamin Mark