You’re six or seven or ten. Who can remember? You’re squinting to see
the writing on the board. Teacher sees you. Teacher tells Mommy.
Mommy takes you to the Eye Doctor. And he examines your eyes and
gives his verdict. And the wailing begins. Not from you. But from
your mother. for she knows the fates awaiting you. And you are filled
with an unknown dread. Unknown till you go back to school with your
new specs. And the taunting begins. Four eyes. Four eyes. And you
know that as soon as they invent contact lenses you’re getting
yourself a pair.
So. is this the be all and the end all of that quaint little taunting
phrase. Nay nay dear souls. It ain’t. Four Eyes has other meanings.
Example: There are many companies that have adopted this as the name
under which they want to do business. There are optical companies,
with what must be attempts at humor, that use this as their company
name. For all your optical needs.come to Four Eyes.
There are fish that have four eyes. Each eye is located on top of the
head and is divided in two in order to enable said fish to look above
the water and below the water at the same time. Cute trick. eh wot?
There is also something called a Four Eyed Opossum which does not
really have four eyes but rather a white spot above each eye thereby
lending it its moniker.
But there’s more. Yes there is. Bet you can’t hardly wait. Here you
are. an adult. You’ve outgrown the ridiculous hazing of your youth.
You wear contacts now. You’re rather attractive. even if you must say
so yourself. You primp up a bit. There’s a company meeting in fifteen
minutes. And you go in.
We have to tighten up men. And ladies. Our profit margins are
sagging. Let’s work together. Two heads are better than one. Too many
cooks do not spoil the broth. What we need here is Four Eyes.
Hunh? Yes. That’s what I said. Four Eyes. Is this guy nuts? Four
Eyes? How about three ears? Or two tongues? But it’s a metaphor. What
we need is four eyes for each project. Four Eyes doesn’t mean four
eyes. It means two people. He wants two people on each project
instead of one. And two people have four eyes. Which of course begs
the question: Why didn’t he just say two people? Folks. The
mysterious minds of those who run corporate America are unfathomable.
And also creative at times. Which is probably what makes English the
richest language in the world.
But when it comes to jewelry… 4 eyes now has new meaning. Which
brings us–by way of an incredible segue–to a Four Eyes pin made of
glass in a gold-plated metal frame, signed by Kramer, circa 1970.
It’s great looking. Latest cost to the best of my ability: $150.00.
It’s the see all and know all of pins. So. you wanna see? Of course
you do.
You know where. Home page: tyler-adam.com. Left hand menu. Click on
Tidbits.
And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
Benjamin Mark