Fanfir-the Shape Shifter
It's night and the dark skies hide Fanfir as he climbs a rocky hill and
clambers into a dank dark cave where he stows his golden treasure. He lies
now in his secret spot, breathing fire and smoke, his coils smoldering
greed. He has just killed his father and has now changed himself into a
dragon. Let no one dare touch his gold lest he breathes on them and turns
them to charred cinders.
What?!!! You folks thought greed was strictly limited to humans? Hah...I
say. Double hah. Let me tell you a Viking tale, of gold and treasure and
greed and lust...and, of course, gold and treasure again...cuz that's what
we're all about...here at Tyler-Adam Corp...ain't it? With maybe a little
greed and lust thrown in...just for spice.
Here's how it happened. Loki and his god-friends--most of you will learn in
time that gods hang around with gods and people hang around with
people...and for the most part...never the twain do meet. Anyway, Loki's
strolling along and spots a sleeping otter. Loki's famished. Hasn't eaten
since Loki knows when. So he kills the otter, and he and his pals skin it
and eat it. Otter for gods, apparently,is like filet mignon to you and me.
Anyway, now Loki's and his compadres are tired. Need a place to sleep, they
do. So they knock on the door of a nearby house, and a guy named Kreidmar
opens wide and goes bananas. Hey, he says, looking at the otter pelt. You
just killed my son. Turns out Kreidmar's son was a shape-shifter, and had
changed himself into an otter to go fishing and was sleeping off a meal
when Loki and the others spotted him. And now Kreidmar was going to kill
Loki and the other gods. Don't ask me how...these things have to be taken
on faith. Now then, some of you may well ask...what has this to do with
gold...or even jewelry, or diamonds, or anything? To you I say whoa. I'm
Hey listen, says Loki. We didn't know the otter was your son. Is there a
way we can make it up to you? Sure, says Kreidmar. Go get me the gold that
lies at the bottom of that pool over there. Fill my dead son's skin full
with that gold, and then cover the pelt till nothing of it shows but gold.
Then I'll forgive you for killing my son. Life comes and goes folks, but
clearly gold--like a diamond--is forever. Oh Greed, hast thou no shame?
So Loki and his other gold friends get hold of the gold, by tricking a
dwarf by the name of Andvari, into giving it to them. I won't bore you with
the details. Suffice it to say, they turn the treasure over to Kreidmar,
which by the way, consisted of more than just plain gold. Heck folks, there
were brooches and necklaces and rings and stuff also. Maybe even a diamond
or so too.
And now the plot thickens. Fanfir, one of Kreidmar's sons, and a
shape-shifter in his own right, could not abide the thought of Dada having
all that loot while he had what?...a fair maiden or two occasionally? Not
enough for a shape-shifter. GOLD...now that was what he needed.
GOLD!!!!...you hear? Ahh...murder dwelt and grew in his heart...till he
could bear it no longer...and he slew his pater dead and ran to his cave to
protect his treasure for evermore against those who would steal it from
For years the dragon Fanfir guarded his glittering loot. Till one day
Regin, Fanfir's brother, had the old dragon killed. How and what happened
after that is not so important--though it is interesting. What is important
in our little tale of gold is this. One day, while lying in bed and staring
at the ceiling, plotting on how to get your hands on treasure through ill
gotten means, know this. If dragons and shape-shifters glean no good
through ill-gotten treasures, what make you mere mortals think you can do
better? Though you do, of course, have an advantage over the Viking gods
and shape-shifters of yesteryear. Yes you do folks. For, at the risk of
crass commercialism, you all know Tyler-Adam Corp., and Moi...and we can
get it for you wholesale, without any of you having to slay any dragons, or
trick any dwarves, or kill any otters.
And there ya have it.
That's it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
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