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[Tidbits] Don't Ask


Don’t Ask.

Okay. Here’s what it says. It says: Lalaounis. It says: Yellow Gold
Pendant and Choker. It says: Neolithic style. It’s says: 22 karat
gold. It says: Hammered texture.

So let’s start with Lalaounis. What is Lalaounis? A description? A
name? A thing? A bird? A plane? A cat? A dog? A belt? A shoe? A
jewelry museum in Greece? Bingo! It’s the museum. Puzzle number one
… solved. Puzzle number two is more complicated.

This necklace … this choker you’re about to see … what is it?
What does it represent? What symbolistic archetype can we draw from
the image of this choker?

A baseball bat perhaps? Does it represent a baseball bat? Nah. They
weren’t playing baseball in those days. A cucumber maybe? A tapered
cucumber with a little design around the middle? Nah. What woman in
her right neolithic mind would wear a cucumber around her neck? Nary
a one I would venture. A pestle with a design? Did they have drug
stores back then? Better yet … did they have pestles? Scratch
pestle. I’m wracking my brains out here folks. It ain’t a pestle. It
ain’t a cucumber. It ain’t a baseball bat. So now we all know what
it ain’t. It’s what it is is what we want to know.

A rocket ship? Nope. That’s ridiculous. The fickle finger of fate
… all fancied up perhaps? Well … I feel close. But that ain’t it
either. A stick maybe? A branch of a tree with a rounded end? A door
knocker? The bone of an ancient and extinct creature … thought to
bring luck to the wearer? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

A nothing maybe? A design with no purpose … wrought from a strange
artist’s mind. Nah. All things have purpose … however arcane those
purposes may be. Let’s think here lads and lassies. Any help would
be appreciated. What indeed could this choker symbolize?

A club … with which to bash an enemy’s head? A strange cane with
a strange handle to remind the wearer of sadder days gone by? A
golden misshapen tootsie-roll with licorice wrapped around the center
and preserved in gold for posterity? Yeah. Right? Like they had
tootsie-rolls back then. So then … if none of the above … then

I am at a loss here folks. I invite friends and foe to guide me. Let
me know what you think this doo-dad hanging from this choker
represents. Yeah. Heh heh. Tell me what you think it looks like …
why don’t you?

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at where you will
scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Tidbits Graphics … and then click on the link that says: Don’t ask
… where you will see a graphic of a choker symbolic of …

And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks. Catch you all
next week. Benjamin Mark

TYLER-ADAM CORP.–Jewelry Manufacturers
Tel – 1-800-20-TYLER


OK, Benjamin, I’ve found the Lalaounis Museum webpage and I found a
collection called The Golden Dawn of Art (that apparently contains
neolithic stuff), but there is only one piece visible and it’s not
what you described. Is there another way to get in?



Don’t Ask.

Why Ben. You ol’ reprobate, you. Here, from your description I was
expecting to find a typically graphic and in-your-face male fertility
symbol. One finds, though perhaps not so much in greek museums (odd,
it seems like they’d be quite appropos there), any number of
prehistoric through modern phallic symbols used that way. And I was
all set to wonder why you seemed so embarrased to call a spade a
spade, since from your description, this clearly was on your mind,
yet you couldn’t seem to bring yourself to say it.

but I think yer dreaming, dude. this is just a pretty pendant.
Nice little elongated teardrop shape.

Just 'cause they’re neolithic or something doesn’t mean they have to
be so filled with symbolism and meaning. Some of that stuff was,
like most of our own jewelry, just made to be pretty.



Just 'cause they're neolithic or something doesn't mean they have to
be so filled with symbolism and meaning.   Some of that stuff was,
like most of our own jewelry, just made to be pretty.



My take on that item was pretty much the same as Peter’s. I tried
real hard to make the association, but I don’t think it’s there.
I’ve seen some Greek statues, traditionally placed at crossroads,
that bore phalluses of gigantic proportions that were more
exceptionally graphic in their anotomical accuracy (except for the
scale, of course - grin). So I know the Greek’s weren’t shy about
representing male anatomy. I think if they’d wanted a spade, they’d
`a made it a spade.

David L. Huffman


Peter old friend, Reprobate … moi? Nay nay. I was just doing an
interpretive dance … literary fashion. All phallic thoughts reside
only in the minds of the reader. Personally … it looked to me like
an off-shaped sour pickle wrapped in belly lox. But that’s me. As
always … a pleasure chatting with you. Ben