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[Tidbits] Breast of a Woman


#1

Of course the first question arises: If we should decide to make this
Tidbits into a movie who should we hire as the male lead. But that
aside… I am here to assure that this has everything to do with
jewelry and all that is required is patience. But first…

An article was once written about ten years ago supposedly published
in the New England Journal of Medicine promoting the idea that ogling
women’s breasts increased men’s life spans. I always thought it was
the lascivious side of me that came into play… but apparently it was
my inborn genetics acting in an involuntary manner as a
self-preservational tactic to extend my life span. I can not tell you
the relief I feel over this as I am now prepared to ogle away…
social political correctness be damned. I would also urge you men who
want to live a longer healthier life to do the same.

To continue with the article: Medical experts–it would appear–have
discovered that staring at well-proportioned boobies for a mere 10
minutes is roughly equal to a 30 minute aerobic workout. Eureka! No
more running. No more going to the gym. Have the woman of your dreams
prance about you for an hour or so daily and you will surely live
longer than Methuselah.

The article continues: Researches at three hospitals in Frankfurt,
Germany came to the conclusion–after 5 years of comparing the health
of 200 male patients --half of whom were instructed to ogle away
while the other half were told to look away…that the oglers has
lower blood pressure and slower resting pulse rates and less instanced
of coronary heart disease.

It’s a wonderful article my friends… lacking only veracity to
elevate these findings to a state of medical wonderment. Alas… we
live in a world where crappola reigns and wondrousness exists only in
the minds of the ever hopeful.

However… there was once a jeweler who I surmise clearly subscribed
to this philosophy and–I presume–in order and ensure a constant
supply… created a bust of Marilyn Monroe… in the form of a bust
clip… to be worn upon a woman’s bust… where you can ogle till you
bust.

It has a bronze finish and is inset with faceted crystals and is
worth over $400. So you lucky dogs you… ya wanna see? Go. Knock
yourselves out. And live to over 1000 years as did Methuselah.

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at http://www.tyler-adam.com where you
will scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that
says Current Tidbits… and you will see represented on our pages a
bust of a bust of Marilyn Monroe to be worn on a bust till the oglers
bust. Oy vey.

And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks. Catch you all
next week.

Benjamin Mark


#2
An article was once written about ten years ago supposedly
published in the New England Journal of Medicine 

If not there, where was it published? Citation, please.

Al Balmer
Sun City, AZ


#3

Hi,

This is in response to Al Balmer’s request for the name of the people
who published the article about women’s breasts having a calming
effect on men. This was never published but was rather a hoax that
was spread across the internet. These are the stats: Description:
Email hoax / Satire. Circulating since: March / April 2000 Status:
False.

Please forgive me if I did not make that clear.

Sincerely,
Benjamin Mark


#4
Please forgive me if I did not make that clear. 

Sorry, I’m a too-literal engineer. Rather than " An article was once
written about ten years ago supposedly published in the New England
Journal of Medicine…", I’d suggest " An article was supposedly
written about ten years ago and published in the New England Journal
of Medicine…"

Al Balmer
Sun City, AZ


#5

Well I could have told you that it was a hoax from my own
observations. Calming? Heck no! My sweetie Tim finds them much more
stimulating than calming.

Have fun a and make lots of jewelry.
Jo Haemer
www.timothywgreen.com