Three rings for three daughters

Hi all especially the wise ladies and fathers with daughters.

Client has a packet of nice opals to be set into rings and earrings.
Not a problem.

Problem is he has 3 teenage daughters who have seen the stones.

I can guess what will happen next as to who gets which ones.

My thoughts are

1 That I should tell the young ladies which stones suit which young

Make a fuss over them in the show room and make them feel special.
And so avoid the sh*t fight.

2 The dad should make the choice, saying some sh*t like these are
the ones I chose for you because yada yada.

This is the best way matching stones to people. BUT THESE ARE

I only have one daughter but if I had 3 and was in this situation it
would be WAR between them.

And it would be Dad who loses in the end.

Any advice would be great as I don’t want 3 gen whatever having it
out in the show room.

These are very polite and charming young ladies, but when it comes
to jewellery???

Recent birthday card from son. On front “You are the best dad. I am
not pulling your leg.” Open card “Because I remember what happens
when I pulled your finger!”

Any advice would be most helpful.


Dear Richard,

Having raised 2 daughters myself, I can tell you from experience
they have very different tastes. My girls even have different
choices about which of my diamonds they like best. (I told them if
they fight over any of my jewelry after I die I WILL come back and
haunt them! LOL) With that knowledge, it is likely these girls will
choose different stones.

These are very polite and charming young ladies, but when it comes
to jewellerye? 

If, indeed they do prove me wrong and there is a particular stone in
contention, it is not likely they will act inappropriately. That
would be the perfect time for you to come to the rescue as an expert
and chime in to say how you had already considered which stone might
be right for each of them. Explain that certain stones just seem to
belong with certain people. For example, “Mary, I thought this stone
would be perfect for you because the larger size really suits your
bold style. Jessica, you see how the blues in this one are the same
color as your sparkling eyes? Like it was meant to be! And Kate,
last but certainly not least, this stone has a lot of blue/green
flashes and since opal is actually made from ancient sea water it
can represent your love of the beach.” You get the idea, I’m sure,
but I am giving examples for those who may not have the “sell the
sizzle” experience. :slight_smile:

Good luck and I look forward to hearing how this turns out.

All the best,
Donna W
Huntsville, AL

Having had (and still having) daughters, there will be no avoiding
comparisons. Letting them see the stones in advance quite possibly
snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. It is hard to match
teenage expectations after a period of competitive anticipation.

A third party should not take the lead.

One way out of the conundrum might be to make as identical pieces as
possible, and have the father present them to each of the daughters
with a signed card at the same time.

The card could say something like "These [pieces] are similar but
yet wholly different, just like each of you.

Relationships are most often lost not because of bad acts, but
because of neglect through time. In the years to come when you go on
without me, my hope is that you remember your comman bond with your
sisters, who are both like and unlike you in so many different ways.
Use these pieces as a touchstone to remind yourself that it is your
responsibility to take action to keep the relationship. Pick up the
phone and call. Email. Get on a plane and show up unexpectedly.
You’re sisters to each other.

Guard that love fiercely and travel through life as sisters - each
the same, but different - and celebrate both qualities. Never let go
of each other. Dad"

Just a thought. Bob

The father could wrap the stones identically, juggle the boxes, hand
one to each daughter.

Upon opening, ask each daughter, "How would you like to have your
stone set?’.

Then the jeweler can work with each daughter to have exactly what
she wants.


You are in TROUBLE! And this is coming from a “former” teenage girl,
middle sister of three. I have to be honest, you are absolutely right
to be scared as sh!# of what might happen. There is nothing
scarierthan fighting teenage girls, especially siblings. My sisters
and I loved hard, and fought even harder. Thankfully now it’s all
love. My best suggestion is to ask the father ahead of time about his
opinion on this, being as kind and euphemistic as you can be about
your concerns. Meaning you’ll have to find a gentle way of saying the
truth " thatyou’re scared because teenage girls are psychotic! That
way, if it all goes down-hill, he’s prepared for it. And maybe make
the in-store meeting at a time when you have no other customers to
scared off. You need to post pictures of the lovely jewelry once it’s
finished, and before the angry sisters tear it to shreds (just
kidding). I love opals. Hat’s off to you sir, and good luck!


Is there something wrong with asking the girls to choose their own
stone? I have found on numerous times that this oddly enough works
out very well and that they rarely want the same thing. Same for
setting - each person is unique and I doubt they want the same ring
unless perhaps they are triplets.

Barbara on a cold night on the island

I would do a personality questionnaire on each of the girls then
match the stone to their personality, lifestyle and where they would
like to be in the future.

Works for me every time.

Simple 3 questions if you can visualize.

  1. if you won the international lottery and inherited BP oil
    company. you have all the money you could ever think of. what type
    of car would you buy for yourself? You are single and have no
    obligations(I add that mostly for married people)

  2. same situation you can buy anything. describe the exterior of your

  3. then describe the furniture in the living room of that house.

  4. the type of car will give you the so general shapes
    and Statius they want. sports cars usually curves and flashy.
    Mercedes sport coup. conservative flash. Etc.

  5. exterior of dream home is what they want to project to strangers.
    Also gives you a sense of jewelry style. Contemporary, Colonial, log
    cabin etc. (visualize in your mind jewelry that would fit the house)

  6. the living room is where you bring strangers to meet them and get
    to knowthem better. So the furniture is very important in this room.
    Queen Ann style lots of curves, Chinese you need to design using
    Chinese style, overstuffed sofa and chairs. you need to design
    something that will be comfortable foreveryday wear. Crome and
    glass. design with lots of flash and sharp angles…

I rarely have to spend over 30 minutes and almost never need to draw
more then one drawing for my customers. Might take a little practice
at first but if you can get it it will save a lot of wasted time
drawing and give you moretime on the bench making jewelry and

This may not help in this particular situation, but I think this is
a fabulous way to avoid those (possibly inevitable) riffs when it
comes to “splitting” jewelry. I think it was my very sage
grandmother who told me: when splitting the family jewels, allow one
person to divvy up the “piles”, but allow the other (or another, if
there are more than two) person first choice. Helpsto prevent the
divvier-upper from putting all the “good stuff” in one pile!

Spelling errors provided by Autocorrect. Autocorrect. It writes your

Any advice would be great 

Why on earth is this your problem? Are you a favorite uncle, or
something? If you have concerns, express them to the parents.

Al Balmer

Why on earth is this *your* problem? Are you a favorite uncle, or
something? If you have concerns, express them to the parents. 

The father has come to you, the specialist, for your guidance.

So you ask him what HE wants for his daughters. After all, I’ll
presume he’s paying the bill.

Its his problem if his teenagers are a stroppy lot, not yours.

You should quote to do the job to a specification for a specific
price, based on the technical requirements of working with opals.

In my view, they should be all identical apart from the finger size.

then if the father wants something different for each daughter, then
that is another price.

If you go to any professional whatever the subject that seems to be
the way they work.

It should be no different in our line of work

I have three daughters (and a son) and they don’t exhibit any
jealousy of what each receives, so it isn’t inevitable. If parents do
not, in fact, play favorites, no one is likely to feel slighted. If
parents do have favorites, weighing to the 100th or making things
identical will not overcome that.

It’s not what you do, it’s WHY you do it that counts.

Noel Yovovich

I agree. Now that we have thoroughly demonized teen age girls (I had
twomyself and two granddaughters and they are, and were–lovely
people)it is really the fathers problem. I say stay out of it!
Partly because if youget involved in the decision, you will have
"bought" it and forever be responsible if they don’t like it.

Elegant Insects Jewelry


the father has made some “executive” decisions and we are good to