I’ve been reading this line for a while now and figure I’d might as
well chime in.
As a child my family moved around a lot. And I do mean a LOT. My dad
was a construction worker and we went where the work was. It was
definitely a social detriment for my brothers and I because we were
always the new kids at school and were constantly in a position on
not fitting in. We often moved 2-3 times in any given school year,
sometimes more. The educational detriment was also a problem. My
older brother was never any good at school. There wasn’t anything
wrong with his intelligence but school was a real challenge for him.
He’s one of those folks that learns better hands on, and he’s very
good at it. Moving a lot really messed him up. But, all that said,
he’s got a certain genius when it comes to artistic things and
building things. No intelligence issues.
My younger brother and myself found ourselves in a completely
different boat. Both of us were academically gifted and, had we
spent our lives in more stable circumstances, would have benefitted
greatly from “advanced” classes. He thinks I’m smarter, I believe
he’s got the edge.
Our constant moving caused all three of us to fall through the
cracks. We never fit in pretty much anywhere. My older brother
struggled because schools simply didn’t match his learning style at
all. My other brother and myself were frequently in classes that
were boring as the dickens because we were far ahead in the subject
being taught or we were behind because one school would have a much
more advanced curriculum than the one we just left.
All this being true leads me to this, I agree with Noel. Higher than
average intelligence may be a gift but there is more to a student
than their IQ, no matter what that IQ is. Not fitting in socially
can be very traumatizing. Boosting a kid too far ahead frequently
destroys their social realm and thus their “safety net”. It
alienates them from their own peers age-wise and places them into an
arena where their maturity levels may not match the group they are
being placed in. A child is much more than an IQ number. An
inability to fit in, for whatever reason, can lead to a life of
lonliness and isolation. It’s a real pain to be isolated because
you’re smarter than most of the people around you. Very few people
understand that isolation. To this day I have a very hard time
making friends and it’s not all because I moved a lot as a kid. That
had it’s effects, drastic ones, but trying to sit in a room full of
folks who are not intellectually challenging can give a real sense
of isolation. Folks act like you are trying to prove you’re smarter
than them when in fact you are only trying to find some stimulating
conversation.
I’ve been told that I’m extremely intelligent but I don’t often find
it to be a gift. I analyze things to death and have very few
friends. This forum provides a substantial portion of my social
life. Am I smart? Yes. Am I proud of it? Not particularly. Not too
many people seem impressed and many are actually intimidated by it.
I remind myself frequently that this world is run by Nerds and
Brutes. I really don’t want to be classed as either. I’m a nerd by
default, not by choice. I refuse to be a brute. There are many days
that I wish I were just a normal person. It would be much easier to
socialize then, I do believe.
Mike