Hi All,
The old lady has laid low since overcoming those with adipose
deposits of the cranium. I do feel qualified to talk about pain and
how to deal with it.
My pain at least in my knee started when I was a senior in high
school. I was playing softball and ran up to catch a infield
grounder, and slid on the wet infield grass. I heard my leg snap like
chicken bones. I had fallen funny sitting on my leg. It was treated
in a small country hospital of Blair Nebraska. No one at that time
thought to check out the knee for cartilage damage. Fast forward to a
skiing accident, to helping a wheelchair bound lady who had fallen
out of bed, to falling through a rotten floor. I had three other knee
surgeries over the years, but not enough. Summer of 2011 I woke up in
bed and couldn’t walk. Darned if I hadn’t injured in bed, but again
darned if I wasn’t alone damn it. Since I had my knee replaced, that
was long and painful.
I’ve been blessed with chronic congenital migraines. Even have been
paid to be in a few medical studies. Then they went out of control.
Found out that I had a sinus tumor that had grown around my optic
nerves. No one wanted to take it out for fear of nicking the nerves
and having me go blind. I begged following 6 months of non stop full
blown m igraines to have it jerked out no matter if I went blind.
Well I didn’t go blind, but now I find they are the kind of (non
cancerous) tumors that return. Maybe they can give me a better nose
job than last time. They had to spend 6 hours rebuilding my sinuses
since one sind had collapsed into the other side. Maybe one of those
nice perky little noses like a young woman, not the one I;m stuck
with.
Then compound it that in 2007 I had my gall bladder out. Simple
surgery. Yeah right if you have a surgeon that knows what he is
whacking at. I spent a month in the hospital with it and four more
surgeries to fix the mess he had made of my insides. 3 months later
I’m back in the hospital with leakage again, liver damage,
pancreatitis, peritinitius, and short term diabetes. I’m in constant
pain when I eat more than a few spoonsfull of food. Solution I drink
a lot of my meals.
Two years ago an older lady who was not allowed to drive after the
sun set, hit me in a race to get home as the sun was setting. I was
thrown sideways into the door of tyhe truck I was driving, and
torqued my spine. It pulled and tore all the ligaments in my nexk and
down my right side to my posterior end where it did more tearing than
just pulling. So I can claim I have medical proof I’m a major pain in
the ass. Recently when the pain increased, I finally had an MRI on
the lower back. No cartilage between L4 and L5, a bulge and lots of
pinched nerves. I’ve gone through tyhe first of what is now a series
of needles being shoved my my butt to my spinal column. Next is this
coming Thursday. They didn’t tell me until after the first shot that
it was going to hurt much worse after the shot for the first few
days.
If that wasn’t enough I have Roseacea, which with all the stress
decided to go complete out of control. Rudolph had nothing on me over
the holidays. All I need is incontinence. Then I can add wearing an
adult diaper to the list of frustrations. If I wasn’t as stubborn as
I am I suppose I would have given up and started vrying a nice pity
party long ago. Instead I have found solutions to my problems.
First is how to deal with the back. I loathe and that is not strong
enough of a word. I detest pain killers. It has to be enough to stop
and elephant in it’s tracks to have me taking one. That is where
metal smithing came in handy. Smashing a piece of metal makes the
pain seem to run away. Next I lowered all my chairs a least enough
that I can still lift my sagging behind out of it. This has forced me
to sit straighter. Next was to take an old towel that had gotten a
bit thin from wear, and fold it in half then roll it up and secure it
with the universal binder, duct tape. This I use to support my lower
back in most chairs. Insurance has granted me weekly deep tissue
massages. I also got a small foot stool to place in front of chairs I
sit in to raise my feet up a few inches. A podiatrist also measured
my leg lengths and I have an insert in one shoe to help with the
differing lengths. Not limping has helped my back immensely. Just
walking makes me feel better. I walk as far as I can then sit for a
bit, and then go again. On bad days I have a cane. I want the cane
that has a taser in it. I bet that would keep a few of the holiday
croweds from trhying to knock me down for not walkingfast enough. Or
at least a retractable cattle prod. When all else fails there is
always chocolate.
Imitrex is one drug I will take! The plus side, my guys here at home
become quiet. They go get me food, and what ever I desire. So long
as the migraines stay only one a week I can handle them. Nice being
pampered instead of waiting on the guys.
Eating a few bites at a time doesn’t keep the weight off if you do
it all day long. If I get serious it will work. I just want to have
some food storage for the time like last after the gall bladder
fiasco when they forgot to feed me even the steak on the rocks via IV
for three weeks. If you have a positive attitude even the spectre of
another round of surgeries to fix yet again the damage to the liver,
you get by. Like a pregnant woman I keep a hospital bag packed and in
the closet.
I have a wonderful problem called low blood pressure. When I get
angry, my BP comes up to normal. What I need to do is get angryh
more. Maybe that will also lessen the effects of stress. Then there
is always smashing, twisting, cutting, bending manipulating
scratching, acid bathing, torching, melting, beating, and all around
abusing metal. An anvil, blow torch, and a hammer are better than
prozac especially if you have teenagers. The Roseacea helps to keep
people from knocking on my door. Now if it could get rid of
telemarketers, it would be the only reason for visual phones.
Incontinence I could live with. How many times have you gotten out
of the way and given the next available stall to the old lady who
comes in with her upper legs clamped firmly together, and quickly
hunched over two stepping quickly and lightly trying in vain to get
to the bathroom before she puddles on your feet. You don’t have to
say a word. If that visual is not enough picturte that same old lady
profusely giving un asked for Danish language lessons of all the
words they won’t be taught in books or classrooms. It doesn’t fail me
now, so I’m well practiced for when it is real.
Seriously pain control is not easy. As we age it comes with the grey
hair, sagging body parts that nearly drag the ground, and the failing
eye sight not to see those body parts. My best suggestion for pain is
to laugh. That and a nice hand forged dull silver spoon packed in my
waiting suitcase, to deal with the next male surgeon that screws up.
I plan to take it to his dangles, candy them and geed him back with
the spoon his just desserts!
Aggie Happy New Year, Godt nytr, og Prospero Ano