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Hamster Skulduggery


#1

Hello Mr. Speedie. You know me as a mild-mannered, friendly
Lapidary from Buffalo, New York. What you don’t know is that I’m
also an agent for JACTFAEOHFAP (Joint American/Candian Task Force
Against Exploitaion Of Hamsters For Artistic Purposes.) You’ve
gotten yourself in some serious hot water telling these hamsters,
all of whom were born in the United States, that they needed
green cards. That’s not right. They are citizens and have every
right to work here! Also, you’ve suggested trating them as
independent contractors, rather than hiring them. Considering
that they spend most of their time inside John’s bench grinder It
sees that they are employees, yes? Do not defraud these poor,
short-lived rodents of their just compensation. Pay them what
they’re worth. Your consceince will thank you. In friendship,
Peter

P.S. Thanks for all the excellent advice on my new Graves Diamond spool

polisher…I appreciate it. I’d love to show you the work I’ve done on
it so far.


#2

G’day, all you members of the Anti Hamster Exploitation Society;
Have your Hamster Police Task-Force raid :-
http://www.hamsterdance.com Instruct them to wait a few moments
at the threshold before smashing down the front door and they’ll
catch them in the very act. –

        /\
       / /
      / /      Johnb@ts.co.nz
     / /__|\
    (_______)  In sunny Mapua NZ Where the fruit harvest
  has begun and orchardists have notices, "Pickers Wanted"

#3

Hah! no one expects JACTFAEOHFAP – all the makings of a Monty
Python skit! Merely being born in the US does not mean these
hamsters are American Citizens - a common mistake regarding
American Citizenship - sort of like spelling Canadian - “Candian”

  • then you Yank’s are always doing that with words like colour
    and labour - Are vowels expensive down there?

Hey thousands and thousands of MBa’s can’t be wrong about
forcing employees to act as contractors - you really should
consider downsizing your hamsters or maybe getting the work
performed “offshore” by Asian hamsters that live in third world
conditions. After all it is a global market now. I think hamsters
are part of NAFTA as well so you could get the work done in
Mexico and not have any tariffs placed against you.

Does John charge them rent for staying in his grinder for
extended periods? - he should market it as a spa for hamsters
that need to get in shape. He might want to ask the British
Nuclear industry how they compensated the ferrets they used to
run wire through conduits- sure lots of ferret chow but the glow
in the dark part really must have been a bummer.

It is late, and I should be sleeping instead of all this
silliness. Talk to you soon,

Cameron Speedie
Island Gem and Rock (Not a Multinational Company - and Proud of it! We pay
our dividends in Canadian Tire Money)
p.s. - If you get me some images I would love to have a look at your
results with the polisher


#4

Hi John Is this the John Burgess that escaped from Crooks, in
Sheffield. To the Sun in NZ. Let me remind you who I am. I was an
Orchidist about a year ago. I had just finished a degree course
at Sheffield Hallam University (formerly Sheffield Polytechnic)
as a mature student. I started my apprenticeship in 1977 at Elite
Jewellery, on Cambridge Street. I have been very quiet since
coming back on-line in November, and it’s time to come out I
reckon. As I can see that Orchid is still a very Vibrant and
enthusiastic platform for metalworkers of the world. My kids will
not leave your hamsters alone. THANKS… :slight_smile: Kindest Regards

Brian S Saynor BA (Hons)
www.silverland.freeserve.co.uk
under construction