My condolances on the death of your wife. I have not had to go
through that, and I do not know what you are feeling, I do know it
has to be very hard to go through. Hope you have a good support

Richard Hart

Thankyou to everyone that have passed on their kind words.

The last 3 weeks have been…ummm…interesting. To say the
least. Jeanette and I had travelled to her home state of Tasmania
(Australia) for her grandfather’s funeral, and the night we arrived
she was driving with her sisters after a night out, when an elderly
driver travelling the wrong way down the highway hit their car

We received a call from her brother, who was about 2 mins behind in
his own car, and myself and Jeanette’s father raced to the scene.

The images I saw are not somethng I would wish on anyone.

I then had extra fun and games as I had to go through the courts to
regain custody of her 7 y.o. son from his biological father (I’m his
step-dad and have lived with Jeanette and her son since he was 3
months old, the bio father has only had occasional care during
holidays mostly through his own inaction).

Things are settling down again now as I go through all the fiddly
stuff of notifying various banks, mortgage holders, government
bodies, etc.

It has helped that Jeanette and I were extremely active in various
Australian motorcycling internet forums and chat channels, and a
massive group of them made their way to Tasmania for her funeral,
giving her a great send-off with dozens of bikes taking part in the
cavalcade, as well as giving me alot of help and support (one of the
guys even stopped by our house on his way down and collected
Jeanette’s bike so I could lead the cavalcade with it).

But life does go on, and I need to get on with things and get back
to relative normality. Heck! If I didn’t I’d have an angry, 5
foot-tall redhead haunting me!! Hehehehehe

Might call some shops tomorrow and get some jewellery work rolling
in again.


I’m sure you have enough to deal with without shopping for books,
but I want to recommend some resources for your son:

has books of all prices and sizes for every age and possible
combinations of grievers. Amazing catalog.

This site has short articles to read and a section on grief and

I am so sorry that you and your son have lost your wife and his

Eventually, the pain becomes a little less, I promise.


Elaine Luther
Metalsmith, Certified PMC Instructor
Hard to Find Tools for Metal Clay

By coincidence, I was just reminded of a wonderful book: “I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Sudden Death of a Loved One,” the only book that I know of that is
specifically about sudden, unexpected death.

I can recommend it whole heartedly to Dale and to anyone else.

More below, from the Amazon website.


Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Brook Noel
Grief Resources

  January 18, 2006 * Received because you purchased I Wasn't
  Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the
  Sudden Death of a Loved One. 

  When Pamela and I wrote I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye and saw
  its release in 2000, we didn't realize how many lives we would
  touch through our words. Over the years, this book has become a
  mainstay, top recommendation and bestseller in its category.
  The book was inspired by the sudden death of my older brother
  in 1997. He experienced anyphylatic shock after a bee sting and
  died within minutes. At the time, there were not any books for
  those facing sudden or tragic loss. 

  Pamela had experienced tragic loss in her own life, and the
  two of us set out to create the comprehensive resource we
  wished we would have had. It was a difficult and laboring 2 and
  1/2 years of writing. The feedback we have received has really
  made a difference in my life - and I am pleased that we pushed
  through these difficult times to create a resource for others. 

  In 2003 we created a companion workbook: I Wasn't Ready to Say
  Goodbye Workbook: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the
  Sudden Death of a Loved One (Workbook) I recommend that anyone
  reading the book, pick up a copy of the workbook as well. The
  two really compliment each other nicely. 

  After co-authoring I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye, many readers
  asked: "What's next? What can I do to rebuild now that I have
  survived this difficult transition?" 

  In 2003, I released a book very dear to my heart and a
  companion workbook, Grief Steps. Of everything I have written,
  it is the book I am most proud of as it truly looks at
  "integrating with life after a loss" in a fresh way that has
  worked for many. Grief Steps: 10 Steps to Regroup, Rebuild and
  Renew After Any Life Loss. When you are ready, I would love to
  share the messages of Grief Steps with you as well. 

Wishing you peace and healing,
Brook Noel

Elaine Luther
Metalsmith, Certified PMC Instructor
Hard to Find Tools for Metal Clay

So sorry, Dale,

to read about what you have been going through. I am in awe that you
can radiate such a great attitude and positive outlook under the
circumstances! Let me add my “moral support” and condolences to all
the other well-wishers out there, with the hope that you can keep
going in the strong way you have begun, together with your son and
your ghost,