Comments from adults at shows

Jewelry Discussion
41

She was observed on several occasions stooping over my cases taking
photographs, something she persisted in doing when she thought she
could get away with it, even after being asked ( by department
staff) to stop.

...........I know exactly why I allowed myself to be treated
poorly, but why did you?

Why do you assume I did?

The type of behavior above should have happened only once before
it was handled.

Kim - You’re right about that - And at the risk of taking what was
meant to be a brief anecdote a few days ago yet further down a far
different Rabbit Hole than the one I originally jumped into, let me
say that, as soon as I was made aware of it by the sales associate
who saw it happen ( I didn’t), you bet I acted. I immediately marched
in to see the department manager, and together we met with the full
sales staff. Both she and I made the no photos policy very clear, but
that doesn’t guarantee that they could always be effective picture
police when they were busy with customers. She did manage to sneak a
shot in on occasion - actually she sent someone else, whom we later
learned was her daughter. It wasn’t my store, I wasn’t there
personally every day, and remember that she was also a full fledged
vendor at the time who was making money for them. In this particular
venue, one could only affect store procedures and policies just so
far. This was not a single owner little boutique or gallery, but one
of the biggest volume stores in a very big name, high end chain. (
And, frankly, that’s another particular Rabbit Hole of a topic I will
not be going down here…)

And, rest assured, she did “get the message”, believe me. With some
people, it can sometimes take more than “Once”.

She approached me with questions on occasion, not during quiet
moments one-to-one, but inevitably while I was engaged in
conversation with customers during my trunk shows. 

Only once

Again - the first time it happened, I tried to handle it as best I
could with the fact that I also had clients standing right there.
Under some circumstances I’m more than fine with telling someone
exactly and colorfully what’s on my mind, but in that situation, when
I still barely knew her, and I was still pretty new to this store, I
was completely blindsided by her behavior, it was totally unexpected.
All I could think to do was to keep my cool and deflect her remarks
in as polite and professional a manner as I could, then actively
ignore her and re-focus on my clients. And, this, too, I made the
manager’s concern - within minutes, in fact; her behavior affected
store business ( mine ) and I refused to make it merely “personal”.
When she tried it again, I handled it more bluntly, you betcha. The
fact that she tried it more than once should say more about her
crassness than my supposed wimpiness.

She would intrude on this activity, interrupting, sometimes
dropping tasteless remarks about several of the elements in my
work, dumbfounding the customers, let alone me. 

Only once

Ditto

Admittedly, it is a very blunt term to use, but you were acting
like a doormat for quite a while

Really??? Quite a while…And you know this how…? Again - my shoes,
my situation, mixed bag of circumstances none further of which I feel
compelled to detail, as it would really breech discretion and,
frankly - enough of this already…

I'm not trying to offend (at all) but in this email, you are quite
on the defensive.

If you say so. Frankly, I wasn’t initially inclined to make an issue
of it.

But I felt that Lisa was being unfairly judgmental in her reply,
running away with assumptions about a situation with next to no
something I have noticed happening lately at times on
this forum. I was frankly surprised by the critical tone I perceived
in her response, - rather like you’re doing now - :^]…(?) - not
about the tasteless behavior of the person being described, but
criticism of how I may - or may not - have handled it - and/or
should - or shouldn’t - have. So, clearly against my better judgment,
instead of ignoring her post, I figured maybe I should make the
effort to clarify. My bad.

The original topic of this thread was (funny, ignorant, rude,
outrageous, memorable) comments heard at shows. Now it seems to have
become something else, as sometimes happens.

In business conversations, when one person is on the defensive,
they are readily handing over all of their power to the other
person. Remember, it's not personal.

Yes, that’s a fair statement. Bet defending one’s position doesn’t
necessarily make one “defensive”. Maybe I chose to respond rather
than ignore her post, in fact, so as to not be a “doormat”? Likewise,
in responding to you here, taking the time to give you some further
detail into the history of this long ago silliness, perhaps you will
accept that I handled my “business” to the best of my judgment and
within the constraints of the situation at the time.

Cheers,
margery

42 
We have also been told that the gemstones used in our work are
fake/glass and even had the metals used called into question by
people who proclaim thay they know these things.

I had this problem more when I lived in Norway, but the avg person
there is not gemstone savy…they know diamonds, emeralds, rubies,
sapphires and opals…but go beyond that and they assume it’s
glass/cz/fake…part of it is also that everything was so expensive
there that they assumed no one would be using real stones at an
affordable price.

Haven’t had that problem so much here…yet!

Jeanne

43

I agree whole-heartedly that artists are sorely underpaid, but unless
everyone of us drastically raises our prices and says, sorry, but
this is what my time is really worth… if you want to look good
and wear these things it’s going to cost you - it’s just not going to
happen. I can’t have my jewelry priced at $150/hour and be next to
someone else charging $20 for a pair of earrings. Furthermore, the
public is now used to not having to pay what it is really worth -
they are used to getting deals in the tent by people who are
desperate to sell at a price that simply let’s them get by. When you
hire a plumber, it’s because you have a serious problem in your house
that you can’t fix. Jewelry is still a luxury item and you can say No
to it and your house won’t flood. But you’re right - I am tired of
working for 50 cents an hour – I just don’t know how to make the
leap.

Grace (Frustrated and Tired)

44

My mother taught me long ago hurtful comments are from jealous
people. Never judge your worth or value on anothers opinion. Know
your strengths and your weaknesses and do your best. That is what I
can ask of you or anyone. If you did your best you are a success no
matter the final outcome.

Thanks Mom I miss you.

Teri
Silver & Cameo Heritage Jewelry
www.corneliusspick.com

45 
If I tried to charge $125/hr for my jewelry work plus parts,
people would think I was insane....

Well, the trick here, imho, is to not discuss your hourly rate with
customers. Describe the benefits. When taking in a custom job for
example, I tell them what they will get (every concern addressed etc)
and what the job as a whole will cost. Most people will not be able
to interpolate your wage.

46

Karen, et al!

While in Cancun, I saw hundreds of these shops, but there didn't
seem to be any goldsmiths around. Then I found them, upstairs, all
from India.

When I had my office downtown Toronto a client asked me to reset a
Tanzanite into another mount…I looked at it and it was too perfect!
I quickly questioned my client about her friends’ stone…she said
“we know all about it” she bought this Purple stone for only $6,000
from a store owner who had halogen lights all over it.
Cancun…St.Thomas…Martinique, all the same pushy sales. They stand
outside the doors trying in vain to catch anyone walking by, I know!

She paid the US dollars in full and brought it back home to Toronto.
my client doubted its quality and asked her appraisor to look at
it…he said “he could buy 50 of them for the amount she paid…Quatrz
for $150.00 EACH”…when in another ountry…“buyer beware!”…

gerry!

47 
But I felt that Lisa was being unfairly judgmental in her reply,
running away with assumptions about a situation with next to no

No need for defensiveness, I was only commenting that energy spent
on trying to thwart copying, other jewelers, “rivals” etc…was
probably better spent giving them the and continuing on
with your business. Faster, with less effort spent too. Frees you up
for something more productive. I too would have stopped her from
taking photos…as it is a distraction, but I wouldn’t have
involved the whole store, sales managers, and all of the staff in
doing so. Yikes! Trust me, in doing that, no matter what they say,
they will see you as the problem, not her. I might even have sent the
person pictures if she was all that interested, as photos of my work
are probably on my website anyway and readily available.

There will always be those who “copy” other people’s ideas. With few
exceptions…one or two come to mind…most of those people
aren’t making a living at what they do, and they certainly aren’t a
threat to my livelihood or to my work. Just another flea bite on my
rump. Target or Wal Mart knocking you off is a whole other ball
game, but not some penny-ante Joe or Jill Jeweler at a chain store in
east nowhere. (Words like, “biggest”, “volume”, “chain store” aren’t
generally associated with the words “high end”, Unless we are
talking Tiffany.)

Anyway, making a to-do about it rarely changes the person or the
situation. At the last Baltimore retail show I did, a “rival”…and
I use that term jokingly, sent over his assistant that he thought I
didn’t know, to check out some of my diamond work. The poor guy was
trying to be surreptitious, but noticing him, I simply took the
piece readily out of the case, and handed it over to him to better
check out. As he was having quite a bit of trouble seeing it as well
as he seemed to want to, I offered him my loupe, and passed that over
too. He was shocked, but took the loupe and looked…lol. He even
noticed a little looseness in a tiny stone that I probably would have
missed. We talked for a while. He was very nice, told me he was sent
over to look. Told me how relieved he was that I wasn’t angry. I
smiled and told him to say hi to his boss for me, and to send
Boss-man over to look for himself. I was more amused than anything,
that Mr Big Shot designer went to so much trouble to have a closer
look at what I make. It gave me a small chuckle.

So just perhaps, don’t jump so quickly at your neighbors. Maybe just
kill them with kindness instead of having what sounds like a full
out war, at a small showing, in a big gallery. Most people who have
done shows for a loooong time…count me in as one of those, don’t
let much get to them any more. Life is too short to be mad at little
things, to focus, or to spend energy on them… There are so
dang many of them, it would take up all of your available waking
hours in active seething…lol.

This silly neighbor of yours was a little thing. That is all I was
trying to say to you.

Lisa, (Oh…dumb comment made by an adult? One among so many…The
guy who picked up a very very expensive, largish gold brooch set
with unusual stones. After fiddling with it a bit, turning it over
and over while shaking it back and forth, he finally scratched his
head, looked at me and asked, “Is this a lighter?”) Topanga, CA USA

48 
I can't have my jewelry priced at $150/hour and be next to someone
else charging $20 for a pair of earrings.

While competition does cause an overall lowering of the common
prices, it also causes a rise in quality, and it doesn’t cause causes
a lowering of the value of quality. There are still plenty of
people who are willing to pay more than the norm for quality of
product and service higher than the norm.

Doc

49 
I can't have my jewelry priced at $150/hour and be next to someone
else charging $20 for a pair of earrings.[snip]- I am tired of
working for 50 cents an hour -- I just don't know how to make the
leap.

Grace, seriously, part of the difficulty is mindset. I haven’t seen
your work, as far as I recall, so these are general comments.

If your earrings are not clearly distinguishable from the $20 ones,
then it IS difficult, but there are a surprising number of shoppers
who won’t look at $20 pieces, but will give serious consideration to
$300 ones.

I was reading an art fair review in Artfair Sourcebook last night,
and the commenter said, “I didn’t sell any of my inexpensive pieces,
but I sold all my $300-$600 ones and could have sold more if I’d had
them.” So these are people who are not interested in the $20 things.

One way to make the leap is to start incorporating bits of gold in
the form of Kum Boo or applique-- I started with 22k/sterling
bimetal (from Reactive Metals). Not terribly expensive, good color
contrast, and you’re soldering silver to silver. People will pay
much more, in general, for a bit of gold, and anyway, it would help
you, psychologically, to change your price structure.

I bought a foot of 22k bezel strip, and it cost $300. But look at it
another way-- for $30 or $40, I can include a 22k bezel on a ring
with a big stone of some kind, and it is suddenly worth $200 more in
the customer’s eye. A good investment by anyone’s standards!

Diamonds are good that way, too. A tiny diamond that costs $35 can
vault a piece into a new price category.

In any case, if you don’t see the difference in value between your
pieces and the $20 earrings, for sure your customers won’t.

Some years ago, I heard or read (I wish I could remember where), “If
my toes don’t curl when I quote the price, I’m not charging enough.”
I try to live up to this. It’s nerve wracking, having my toes
curling all the time, but it has been working out pretty well for
me.

Noel

50

There will always be those who “copy” other people’s ideas.

Why do they do it?

  1. They have trouble thinking up an original design, so they
    ’borrow’.

  2. They saw something they like and would like to try replicating
    it.for their own personal use. (imitation is the sincerest form of
    flattery)

  3. They want to make their own improvements on the basic design

  4. They just want to copy certain elements (a novel catch, for
    instance) and apply them to their own design

  5. They are unscrupulous and want to steal someone else’s work and
    take credit for it and profit from it.

6.They are ignorant of the fact that what they are doing constitutes
piracy.

Recently, a friend directed me to a website and asked what I thought
of a particular necklace. It was not the sort of design that appealed
to me (very interesting, just not my taste). The price seemed pretty
high for this odd agglomeration of assorted bits of silver and all
kinds of cabochons of varying sizes and shapes, but when I magnified
the photo, the reason for the price became evident: This was one
labor-intensive item! The artist did all the cabbing, and the
gemstones were beautiful. The bezeling of the irregularly shaped
stones was expertly done.The silver elements had very subtle
texturing, and how some of the pieces were connected to one another
was impossible to determine.

My friend cheerfully attempted to copy this creation, which she
greatly admired. (see category 2, above) She got it done in record
time (used less expensive ready-made cabochons), and was a little
disheartened that it didn’t have the panache of the original, which
looked more graceful and less clunky.

No matter how hard people try, they are not going to make an exact
copy of a one-off. They can come close, but the hand of the artist
always beats the hand of the imitator.

Dee.

51

Dear Frustrated and Tired Grace,

But you're right - I am tired of working for 50 cents an hour -- I
just don't know how to make the leap.

I met a man named David Geller a few years ago. He asked me how much
I charge to make a shadow band. I told him, and he chuckled and said
“You’re selling yourself too cheaply.” He told me I should be
charging three times what I was getting. I thought to myself, “Yeah.
Right. In your world maybe, but here on Earth, my customers would
laugh at me if I quoted that much.”

After thinking about it, I decided to give it a try. I raised my
labor rate by $15 an hour. Guess what? Nobody even noticed. I raised
it again, this time by $25 an hour. Still, not even a snicker. Now I
charge around $150 an hour and I only get a few more whiners than I
used to get at $35 an hour. Most of the whiners grumble a bit but
still have me do their work. At least 10% of your customer’s should
think you charge too much, imho. Don’t be afraid to let the
cheap-skates walk. Most of them are more trouble than they’re worth
anyhow.

I’ll bet that you are afraid to raise your prices because you don’t
have confidence enough in your work. That was my problem. I have
found that I have even more credibility with my customers now than I
did before, simply because they have the perception that my time is
expensive and it must be worth what I ask for or I wouldn’t be asking
for it. It took a while for my confidence to build, but now I do too.

As far as being next to someone selling $20 earrings, if your fears
were true, there would be no jewelry stores left in America. Walmart,
Target and Cracker Jack would have taken us all out years ago. You
might find that if your prices are substantially more than your
neighbor’s, your customers may decide that your jewelry is
substantially more desireable. It works for Rolex and Tiffany’s. Have
confidence in your work, and charge accordingly.

Contrary to the conception held by most jewelry artists that I know,
people do need jewelry, even more than flush toilets. I use as proof
the fact that jewelry has been around since the dawn of mankind,
about as long as fire, but indoor plumbing as we know it was new in
the twentieth century (except maybe for the Roman aquaducts and
baths, if you want to call that indoor plumbing). Surely if plumbing
was a great necessity of mankind, it would have been invented long
before the luxury of jewelry, no? This is of little comfort if the
water on your bathroom floor is 2 inches deep and rising, but don’t
be fooled into thinking that what you create has value only as a
want and not as a need.

You only have so many minutes on this Earth. Each one is unique and
will never be repeated so you have to decide what they are worth to
you. That is what we are talking about after all, isn’t it? The
dollar value of the irreplaceable minutes of your life. I sell mine
for about $2.50 each. Sounds cheap, doesn’t it?

Take a look at David Geller’s Blue Book. That will give you an idea
of what your time is worth. Charge enough for your work to make it
fun and be proud of what you do. Your craft predates plumbing by
thousands of years. And remember, if you don’t get the wince, you
didn’t price it high enough.

Dave (Tired, but Smiling)
Thanks to David Geller and his little Blue Book. My hero.

52

David

I contemplated a selling price for the gravers I am making…If I took
into consideration the buying power of the Orchid folks and the old
cliche’ of “if they are too expensive and then you can’t afford to
be without any”…cost of my time at the grinding machine which is
very lengthly and DIRTY…plus my skill level…they are still too
darn cheap. but ‘both parties’ must be totally agreeable with the
cost and be able to sleep at night!..

gerry!

53

I’ve been laid up due to surgery for a while & not on the computer -
so, reading all the comments received about “our” work has kept me
entertained! While at a juried show, with handmade work only, etc.,
one woman grabbed a necklace of mine, and hurried away, waving it in
the air, yelling for her friend, Judy/Julie! Luckily, my husband was
there to watch my booth and I was able to catch up to her and
retrieve my necklace - she just wanted her friend to see it so she
could copy it “with much prettier stones and not such expensive
ones”.

At the same show another woman seemed very interested in a lot of
pieces and asked if I had made everything in the booth, to which I
replied, “Yes, I spend a lot of time at my bench. Is there any one
piece I could show you or tell you about?”. Her reply was words to
the effect that there were far too many pieces there and too many
different kinds - eclectic, Victorian, sterling, 14k & PMC - that
there was no way one person could have done all of it & where did I
buy it? After trying to assure her that I have a lot of interests
and having taken many classes that, yes, I did do all of it and had
an album of pictures of my studio, set-ups, etc… After giving me the
"evil eye", she walked away. Less than 1/2 hour later, she & her
daughter walked by with the daughter saying, “MOM, is this all the
jewelry you were talking about? Why don’t you buy those pieces you
liked?” To which she replied,"I would if for a minute I thought she
made them. I’ll just find out what catalogues she got them from."
There were about 6 other potential customers around my booth who
heard her comments and looked at me as though wanting answers. My
husband opened my portfolio and studio album. laid them open and told
them if there were any questions the pictures didn’t answer, to
please ask. Two walked away while 4 made very nice purchases. So, the
woman’s negative comments, handles as pleasantly as possible, made
quite a few sales for me! “A soft answer turneth away wrath”.

Sue @ Arkhaikos/Herb-n-Antiques

54

Sue, regarding the comments you’ve received about having so many
different styles, I’m glad it worked mostly in your favor that one
day the woman openly accused you of just buying and selling. I
certainly hope that the majority of people understand that a
creative person doesn’t always have just one set style. I say that as
someone who also works in a variety of styles. I like a lot of
different things, and I make what I like! Simple! Whenever I do a
show, I make sure that everyone coming in to my booth (well, trying
not to sound like a broken record) knows that I MAKE the chains, I
MAKE the filigree, I MAKE the findings, and even some of the beads &
cabs & such too. Many times I hear them make comments about there
being a wide variety, and usually they say that with a good tone in
their voices. Now & then I hear that with a slight “can’t you make up
your mind what you want to do” tone, but that’s pretty rare, so I
ignore it. :wink: I’m happy to say, though, that I’ve never gotten a
serious impression that someone doesn’t believe that I actually make
everything. That’s a good idea, though, just in case, to have
pictures of your shop & of you making pieces. I am able to, though,
and often have been asked to, explain the steps involved in making a
piece (particularly filigree, with which most people can’t
comprehend the work invovled) so it should be clear I actually did
the work. Anyway, cheers to you for making what you like, and not
feeling like you MUST stick to one thing in particular. :slight_smile:

Lisa
Designs by Lisa Gallagher

55

Yes, when we place our artwork - in esscense our very selves - in
the public arena we run the risk of insult and injury by the
uneducated, narrowminded and ignorant.

Try to remember, those comments say nothing at all about us but
everything about them.

Next time remember your armour. For some people thick skin is not an
option.

56

I’ve also noticed an increase in comments about having many
different styles within my booth at shows. My response to it has been
to say “Thank you for noticing. I believe in exploring and continuing
to learn and grow so that my styles remain fresh and new.” If they
engage in the conversation, I explain that I take a few master
class/workshops each year to sow the seed of new directions and
techniques, then show them some of my “showcase” pieces and explain
how those classes inspired the design direction and how pieces still
on my bench are continuing to evolve the direction.

To counteract the “but what does she REALLY want to do?” effect of
different styles, I have also tried displaying items in groupings of
similar pieces. For example, my newest line of pieces all share
certain types of materials and techniques (river stones, sea glass,
inset with tube-set precious stones and diamonds), so they are all
displayed in close proximity to each other.

On another of the topics in this thread (pricing), I had two
contradictory experiences with myself at this past show. One piece,
which I really loved, I marked down on day 2 because of the reactions
I’d had to the original price from the many people who had admired
it. Shortly after marking it down, a woman came by, loved it and
without even asking the price said “I’ll take it.” When I told her
the price, she gently told me that I should be asking a lot more for
it and that she would have not flinched at paying twice what I was
charging her for it. (Expensive lesson learned, which cost me several
hundred dollars on that sale. I should KNOW by now not to
second-guess myself on pricing.)

Day 3, a different woman came in and was looking at 2 of my most
expensive remaining pieces. Interestingly, she was the only one the
entire weekend who asked if that was the “best price” I could give
her on them. I curled my toes (thank you, for whoever tossed that one
out there - perfect description) and said “Yes, my best prices are
what is marked on the tags” and cringed, expecting her to leave.
Instead, she bought one of them without any complaints and said she
may be calling me for the other one as well. Without the advice of
many of you in the earlier thread on how to handle those discount
requests, I wouldn’t have had the courage to respond that way.

There’s an interesting psychology that occurs at shows, which I find
brings out all my latent insecurities and need for people to accept
my work. I have to fight against the tendency to internally apologize
for pricing pieces as they need to be priced and also have to find
ways to be comfortable with being “pushier” in the sales process. I
personally HATE a “hard sell” salesperson, but I think sometimes I go
too far in the opposite direction trying to make people feel
comfortable with their purchase. As someone on here pointed out a bit
ago, sometimes people are looking for permission to make the purchase
and it’s our job to give them that permission and encouragement. I
think I’m getting better at that, but it’s never a truly comfortable
arena for me.

I’m curious for those of you who do wholesale shows if the sales
dynamic is significantly different in this way because you’re selling
to businesses rather than for personal use?

Karen Goeller
No Limitations Designs
Hand-made, one-of-a-kind jewelry
www.nolimitations.com