What do I do to prove my innocence

Leslie, you say she is known to have had “accidental” falls on
personal property… and that you live in a small town, so word gets
around… and that you have never had a complaint before.

I suspect that most people will have heard of her prior dishonesty,
and your honesty, and will tend to believe you, especially since you
also have some evidence to back up your claims. Karma may not be
instant, but she will eventually reap what she sows.

Leslie,

Would it be helpful to go to the police and ask if records are
available of any other similar type charges filed by this woman
against other individuals in your area and surrounding areas?

Would it be possible to research free legal services in your area?
Good luck and best wishes for a positive outcome for you.

Mary A.

Gee, Leslie, that’s a tough one. It sounds like you did what you are
supposed to by having her initial your take-in logbook. Beyond that
I don’t know what else you could have done. If you had photos she
would still be able to say that you photoshopped out the two other
stones and any other steps you might have taken could likewise be
called into question by someone who is that determined.

You might try to talk to her again and find out what she would like
for you to do. Sometimes people will make claims like that because
they want something unreasonable, and figure you will do anything to
get them to drop the charges. Sometimes they are actually being
honest about it, forgetting what exactly they did and said. In either
case, if she insists that you stole her stones and the only thing
that will make her happy is for you to give them back, well, I guess
you may have to go to court. But it might be much less expensive (and
easier on your head) to just buy her some opals. If you do end up in
court, the judge will almost certainly ask what you tried to do to
make it right, and the more you can say you offered, the better off
you will be.

Don’t worry about giving the appearance of admitting guilt by
offering to buy her new opals. In her opinion you are already guilty,
unless she is scamming you. Either way she will still say you’re
guilty, and nothing you can do or say will change it. The only way it
changes is if she finds the stones in a drawer somewhere and
apologizes profusely, but I wouldn’t count on that. In a court of law
however, the appearance of a business person doing everything they
can to satisfy an unhappy customer will carry more weight than the
appearance of guilt you might get by trying to make her happy. If it
goes badly and you end up in court, you can look the judge in the eye
and say you can’t return what you did not take, but you honestly did
everything you could to make this unreasonable customer happy, and
did your best to live up to the “customer is always right” way of
doing business.

If there is any way you can, avoid going to court. Courts have a
tendency to side with the consumer, so you face an uphill battle if
you end up going that route. Do a search on Ganoksin for the Fred
Ward emerald case to see how this kind of thing can go before you
decide to fight.

Whatever happens from here, DO NOT go to court without an attorney.
Even in a small-claims court where there is no requirement, you must
have legal representation. The burden of proof should be on her, but
it takes a lawyer to make sure that’s the way it goes. The legal
profession is still a bit of a “good-old-boy’s network” and the judge
is a lawyer (non-gender specific). Many judges subscribe to the old
adage that someone that acts as their own attorney has a fool for a
client, even in small-claims court.

As to your reputation, the charge has been made, and there isn’t
much you can do about it now. It’s the seriousness of the charge
that’s important, not the accuracy, ask any politician. Any action
you take could look defensive and might look worse than doing
nothing. It’s like the old "have you stopped beating your wife yet"
scenario. Just get it over with as quickly as possible. On the other
hand if this woman has a history of “slip and fall” lawsuits, people
will see it for what it is and not hold you responsible. Just keep on
doing what you do. In the end, that’s all you can do. In time, this
too shall pass.

Please don’t give up on making jewelry. The vast, vast majority of
people are wonderful to work with. Don’t let one crazy person make
you stop being creative. Just remember in the future that “Crazy
Costs Extra”.

I feel for you Leslie, and wish you the best.

Dave

Hello again,

The therapist will do you good. i hate to see people attacked this
way. you sound like one of the good people of this world. Try to be
as calm as you can and maybe the doctor and therapist can help you
with this situation. obviously others here see this your way and the
people around yo will too most likely.

stay calm and you’ll get through all this.

Leslie,

You do have friends and family, and here we are. It’s clear that you
are traumatized from being violated, but you will get through this.
Do take the advice of so many Orchidians and get legal counsel. If
you can’t get free legal representation, let me know and I will
contribute to your cause.

You were so right and so wise to keep a log and actually have your
client initial it. Give yourself credit for that, and please know
that you have taught all of us to be more vigilant and to take
better precautions so thatwe don’t fall victim to the same ruse.

We’re all here for you Leslie. Keep us informed.

Leslie,

You are the victim of a well practised and heartless predator. By
your description she uses every tactic of bullying and intimidation
and she will most certainly have a long history in a variety of
scams. Her remaining tactic is to keep the pressure on you with
summonses, visits from police and whatever else she can concoct.

Take your time, when your heart is screaming to end it as quickly as
possible, treat it as an unpleasant job that must be done
methodically and in great detail. As much as possible give the
outward impression that you are in no hurry, are not guilty of any
wrongdoing, and will be dealing with this scam when you are good and
ready.

Get legal advice. Do all you can to find previous victims - you will
not be alone!

Regards, Alastair

Leslie, First of all I would advise that if you have any plans to
meet with

her to discuss some resolution to this situation, that you take
someone with you as a witness. Do not meet with her alone. If she
phones you record the conversation, but be sure to advise her that
the conversation is being recorded. This woman is either a con
artist, or a nut case. In any event, document everything.

Your best defense is your log book even though she may claim it is
not her signature.

What she is doing now, seems to be a case of harassment. It seems
that you have two options. l. Seek legal counsel and let the
attorney handle it. or, 2. Take her to small claims court for non-
payment of work you did. In either case, talk to an attorney first.

Don’t let her bully you. You did nothing wrong. You do not have to
prove your innocence. She has to prove that she gave you 5 opals, and
that you kept 2, and switched the others. The burden of proof is on
her.

Best wishes.
Alma Rands.

My heart goes out to Leslie. I am glad that there are so many
Orchidians willing to take the time to offer her help and a
sympathetic sounding board for her problem. This sort of landmine can
strike any of us at any time. All the more reason to be as squeaky
clean and reliable in our business ethics that when something like
this happens we have a lot of reputation behind us.

It seems like there is a small percentage of jewelry customers that
are really mentally ill in their obsessions. We all know, if we have
been in the business for any time, that jewelry is an emotional
thing. This seems to be more intense when you are dealing with
something they have already owned and invested with sentiment, like
inherited stones.

perhaps she has some sort of brain issue, it really sounds kind of
like Alzheimer's type anger to me. 

I was on the phone with a crackpot customer of my own last night, who
has bought a very nice and expensive ring from me, which he loves.
But he was getting all belligerent and irrational about several
issues regarding size, shipping and billing. It had not occurred to
me that this might be Alzheimer type anger, but now that you mention
it in regards to Leslie’s situation, it could be what is up with my
problem customer also.

Do not speak with that woman without a lawyer or at least, a credible
witness. You can’t deal with people like that. Don’t offer to buy or
give her anything without legal advice. I hope you are able to find
help through legal aid. If you are near a college that has a law
school someone there might be able to do some research for you. At
any rate, good luck.

Bobbie

Oh Leslie, I feel so bad for you. It sounds like this woman has her
"own" reputation, ie: having accidents on others properties… and
hopefully anyone who has had dealings with her will absolutely know
of your innocence. I’ve not had this happen in business, Thank God,
but I have dealt with this kind of person in other areas of my life
and it is NOT fun, but believe me, people KNOW what they are like-
even if they don’t go up against them because of their strong( read :
sick") personalities: bullying, lying, etc- they’d rather remain
invisible than come to your aid, lest they be the next victim. But
they know you are innocent. And you know what? The truth always comes
out in the long run. You must just be witness to yourself and don’t
get engaged in the emotional turmoil this puts you in, be an
observer, stand your ground, hold your head high. In my opinion, when
you get that uncomfortable feeling from someone- just say “I’m sorry
there is nothing I can do to help you” and don’t take the job. Some
just are not worth it.

Best of luck, and be kind to yourself.
Laura

Leslie,

You are not going to prison. Get a copy of her new report, you can
also request a copy of her receipt from when she bought the opals.

Susannah

At this point imho, you should do nothing. If you gear up for a
fight, sue her for the invoice, all you’ll do is give yourself
heartburn. You have already freely given her the work for gratis,
you might have a hard time making claim now. If you retain a defense
attorney before any action occurs from her remember that she just
may do nothing further, she got what she wanted. Any civil summons
will give you sufficient time to find an attorney and respond. I
really don’t see any criminal action by the police, although a phone
call or free consult with an attorney should set your mind at rest.

I don’t mean to sound like I’m making light of it all, but how much
money were you going to charge her? (rhetorical question). I can’t
see that it is a whole pile of dough so maybe you’re better off to
walk away, sadder but eminently wiser. Hire a lawyer and its a least
a grand for a retainer. And are you emotionally ready for going toe
to toe with her? What have you got to gain here? Some feeling of
moral vindication? Yeah that will pay the rent. If your primary
concern is your reputation, the longer this drags out the more
potential damage is done to it.

Pick your battles. This may not be the one. I’m not being timid at
your expense, I’ve been thru it so I speak from some experience.
Pursue your self interest. Just be careful what you decide is
actually IN your self interest.

Its probably good to find some outlet for the anger and frustration
and sense of injustice you maybe feel.

Leslie,

Hang in there, I am glad that your doctor has stepped in to help.

Don’t do anything to help this woman by engaging in the mess, let a
lawyer handle it. Someone suggested maybe buying her new stones could
get her off your back. As they say on SNL REALLY?? Maybe OK advise
for a disgruntled normal person who is unhappy about something and
needs smoothing out. But,first she says you took her good stones,
now you have given her crap that isn’t even silver? If this were the
case why would it even matter, if you were a theif she wouldn’t be
focusing on new issues, she is graping because she isn’t getting her
emotional needs met in this circumstance. No don’t deal with her, it
wouldn’t do any good she is whacked. Don’t give in an inch with this
woman, she perhaps may be a parasitic personality. There are some
folks who thrive on discord. She may be one. It is too bad that you
got in her cross hairs. She is grasping for attention and who can say
why.

Let your lawyer deal with it. I think that you may end up being able
to sue her for liable and damages. What comes around will surely go
around. So, try and let it go and move forward, easier said than
done, I know. But try and let it go; every time you find your self
focusing on it pull yourself out of it. Think of something positive
in your life’ past, present and future. Take a big breath, look at
the sky and thank the G-d of your choice that you are breathing the
clean fresh air

I will bet when this is all over you will be vindicated, don’t feel
alone, your doctor stepped up and so will others.

Dennis

But it might be much less expensive (and easier on your head) to
just buy her some opals. If you do end up in court, the judge will
almost certainly ask what you tried to do to make it right, and the
more you can say you offered, the better off you will be. 

Surely this is counter-intuitive. Such an action could be construed
by some to be an admission of guilt, just as not charging her for
the work already done. Leslie has done nothing wrong, and giving
anything away to her can be seen as some way of paying her off.
Surely this should never be done in such a case.

Don't worry about giving the appearance of admitting guilt by
offering to buy her new opals. In her opinion you are already
guilty, unless she is scamming you. 

Precisely. My understanding of this situation is that the woman is a
practiced scammer. Presumably, her “accidental” falls on private
property are for the purposes of making bogus insurance claims.
Sadly the world is full of such people. She knows full well that
Leslie is not guilty, but such actions as buying her some new opals
or giving work away for free may well have the judge seeing that as
guilt on Leslie’s part. Personally, I feel she prayed on Leslie,
perhaps knowing that she has been ill and therefore sees her as
vulnerable and therefore an ideal candidate for abuse. Stay strong
Leslie and I think the therapy is a good idea. You know you’re
innocent. Hopefully your lovely doctor will arrange some good legal
advice for you. Make sure you let us know how it goes.

The people who advised Leslie to invoice the work done are right
IMHO. She has done the work she was asked to do and should therefore
issue an invoice for everything to be proper, especially if the
situation is going to go to court. I understand why she decided not
to bill her, as the whole situation is a very scary one and in
giving her work away for nothing may have made this horrible woman go
away and not bother her again. Sadly, that has not been the case and
she has had the police visit Leslie again, with further charges.

I’m not having a go at you Dave, or what you said. You’re one of my
Orchid buddies! You are perhaps just more trusting than I am with
regard to this woman who is making Leslie’s life a misery, and if
she wasn’t blatantly scamming but rather a confused old lady who had
forgotten what she asked for, then your advice would probably be the
best advice.

Helen
UK

When you think of the percentage of people with memory diseases,
alcoholism, drug influence, etc., it's amazing that there aren't
more incidents where customers "remember" wrong 

People remember wrong all the time. Sometimes it is just
an innocent misunderstanding. Sometimes it’s a deliberate attempt to
sleaze your way through something. On a somewhat regular basis, I get
customers in who swear to me that they prepaid for a repair. I’ve had
the same policy for 25 years and never take payment on repairs up
front. But they’ll still come in and tell me they remember paying me.
I’ll show them the invoice/take in slip and they’ll still think it. I
always tell them that they can pay me and if they can find a slip
that proves payment they can come right back in and I’ll refund them
their money. Haven’t had a single one come back in yet. Funny thing
is I have a couple of them who’ve done it repeatedly to me. So some
of them just simply don’t remember. But then there are some for whom
it seems to be a game. Let’s see if I can get away with this
today…

It’s just one more good reason to make sure that your take in write
up is clear, that if you take in a diamond you let the customer see
what it looks like under a microscope (or loupe—although most
laymen can’t see much with a loupe), or for that matter any colored
stone.

Problems in this case are myriad. While I’m pretty certain the
customer is a scam artist, there were a series of errors made. First
of all, going into people’s homes for orders is a no no most of the
time in my book (although admittedly I have made a few house calls
when I’ve had some unique situations like one partner dying and
trying to buy something for the other before the end). Whether
you’re in a store or a home based workshop, I think it’s much better
to take in all of your work in one central place (learning experience
#1: I took a pearl earring from my hairdresser’s wife to match and
she handed it to me in a tissue. I went to the bank to make a
deposit, reached into my pocket for a pen, found what looked like an
old tissue and tossed it in the trash. Needless to say I had to
replace BOTH earrings–and yes I went dumpster diving to no avail).
Secondly, while a log book is a good idea, formal take in order forms
should be used regardless. Appropriate disclaimers should be
prominently written, the customer should have to sign off on it, and
if necessary sketches should either be on the form or attached and
signed off on. If the customer had a copy of a receipt with three
sketches on it that she had signed she would have a much harder time
trying to argue there were five stones. Proper identification of
stones is extremely difficult when you’re not in an appropriate
setting and should not be attempted. The list goes on.

None of this of course will resolve the poster’s current problem,
but it’s a good lesson to be learned for everyone for the future.

Daniel R. Spirer, G.G.
Daniel R. Spirer Jewelers, LLC

this lady took the "opals" to the police and told them that I had
even changed stones. That the pieces that I gave her were not
opals but some other kind of mixed stone and that they were not
even set in silver.

First, let me say how sorry I am to hear your story of what you are
being put through. God save us all from crazy bad people!

Second, I want to point out that though I’m sure it doesn’t seem like
it, the above is good news. The more outrageous anf hysterical her
claims are, the less anyone will pay attention. If the police have
the pieces, anyone can test the stones and the metal and know
absolutely that she is lying.

We are all pulling for you.
Noel

Leslie,

You are getting very good advice from the members of Orchid, but the
one area I would mention is the fact that you handed over the
finished pieces of jewelry to her without payment. I would have made
her wait while I removed the stones from your new mountings, even if
doing so ruined all your hard work, then returned them in the same
condition you received them.

Your only recourse now is to file against her in small claims court,
and you may not be able to do that depending on the circumstances of
the return. Never lose sight of the fact that what is hers is hers,
but what belongs to you does so until the purchase price is paid in
full.

Good luck,
Jon Michael Fuja

Leslie,

Two comments on your post:

  1. Karma…this evil act against you will come back to her in some
    way!

  2. Get yourself a Lawyer NOW! Yes very $$, but many areas have legal
    services for those on a fixed income. Do not speak one more word to
    this “lady”. Let the lawyer do it. I doubt she is done with this yet,
    but probably is too cheap to get her own legal council. Good Luck.

Nikki

Leslie,

I usually just lurk and learn a lot from everyone here. BTW, thanks
to all of you. You have received many wonderful replies regarding
your problem. I agree with all of them, especially those who say get
an attorney involved. Unfortunately in our society there are many
people who believe that if you are a jeweler you have “loads” of
money and so are out to get as much for themselves as they can. I
know this because I had three “friends” who kept wanting me to make
them jewelry at zero cost to them. Hopefully, this woman isn’t one
of them and, as some have suggested, has a memory problem. I’m glad
you got your doctor involved as well as a therapist. You’ll get
through this, don’t give up. Follow as many of the suggestions as
you canafford to make sure this doesn’t happen again.

Blessings,

Selkie So long as there are stars, sun, moon, clouds, skies above,
wind that blows, trees, grass and air to breath, I shall have hope.

You might try to talk to her again and find out what she would
like for you to do. Sometimes people will make claims like that
because they want something unreasonable, and figure you will do
anything to get them to drop the charges. 

Nah, Leslie, you’re having your pocket picked. Giving her free work
was your first mistake. Call a lawyer, do not speak to her, file
charges if you can. She’s a pest, treat her like one. I makes no
difference if she’s nuts or just a garden variety crook, either way
she’s out for you. It’s classic passive-aggressive bullying, and
she’ll take you for everything you have, if you let her. Giving her
free work was your first mistake - why does an innocent person do
that? She’s depending on you to act just as you have, “Try to get
along, assume the best in people, maybe if I do this it will go away,
etc. and etc.” She’s using your own goodwill against you - classic
passive-aggressive bullying. “Such a nice old lady - she’d never hurt
a fly…” The moment she told you she gave you stones that she didn’t
give you, you were hooked. Used to be people would take in CZs or
whatever, get a receipt that said, “Diamond” and go back and scream
that the stone was switched, until hopefully everybody started
writing “white stone” on receipts. These are classic scams, it’s not
a mistake, she’s picking your pocket, and you just can’t let that
happen.