The Serendipitous Kangaroo
- White Cliffs…not too far from Queensland. Australia. A hunter
stalks. Perhaps he’s hungry. Perhaps kangaroo meat is tasty. No matter.
It’s one of those times when the reasons things happen mean nothing. He
sees what he sees. He takes aim. He fires. And the shot hits home, and a
kangaroo is wounded. But not dead. As the creature tries to escape…the
hunter tracks him down. The kangaroo heads for an area called Rolling
Downs. The hunter pursues…till suddenly…he stops. There…right there
on the ground…is the stone that–according to ancient Arab belief–is
the stone that acquired it’s fancy colors by dropping from heaven in
flashes of lightning. The Opal. This incident heralded the discovery of
the most extensive opal deposits ever found.
Okay. As many know, great opal mines stem from Australia. But is that
where it all started? Nay nay my friends. It started long long before
Australia. Try opal mines near Kenya, circa 4000 B.C. And a few hundred
years after that, the Mayans of southern Mexico. They cut and imbedded the
stones into the cement walls of their dwellings. They inlaid their teeth
with them.
In later times, there was a Roman senator by the name of Nonius who
owned an opal that was so beautiful that is was valued, then, at the
equivalent of one million dollars. Mark Antony, for whom there was no
other than Cleopatra, wanted the opal for her. But Nonius refused. It was
a mistake. Huge mistake. Error of judgement supreme. Cuz Mark Antony, in
a tiff over this whole thing, threatened to kill Nonius for not parting
the precious gem. So Nonius fled Rome, and took the opal with him.
Superstitions spread from the Near East throughout Europe. Opals
possessed miraculous powers. They were potent charms against evil. But
there was a right way to get an opal, and there was a wrong way. I know
the right way, and I pass this precious info on to you folks in a spirit
of amity and good will. Quick disclaimer. If, after you’ve gone through
the trouble of gleaning your opal via the system I describe, it doesn’t
work, it ain’t my fault my friends. It ain’t my fault. That said…here’s
how you should get your opal.
Find a toad. A humble toad is the kind you want. In fact, find a
humble toad with an opal imbedded in it’s head. Now, I know this is no
easy task. But if you want a talisman of true worth, then it’s incumbent
upon you to find the correct toad for the job. Okay. After you’ve found
your little beastie, carefully remove the jewel by the light of a waning
moon and keep it for forty days in a linen cloth. That done, it is quite
unlikely you will ever find a more powerful talisman against evil. Why, I
would venture to say even the devil would keep his distance if he saw you
wearing this little gem around your neck. Of course, this would negate the
old excuse that uses “The devil made me do it” as a cover for all
transgressions. You have to decide for yourselves if the talisman is truly
the beneficial agent you think it is. Beware. For when the flip side of
good is good, you might be getting too much of a good thing. Or something
like that.
And there ya have it.
That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
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