In keeping with the customary logic within which humans unerringly
operate … approximately one thousand years B.C.–long before the
diaper was ever even conceived of as an idea (this is opinion only
and should not be considered fact)–man invented the Safety Pin. There
is no question in my mind that the inventor knew that one day this
little device would be useful in holding a shmatte (Yiddish for Rag)
in place around a baby’s loins.
The pin as we know it today with its U-shaped form made its presence
known in Central Europe about 3000 years ago.
Around the 6th century B.C. women of Greece and Rome began fastening
their robes at the shoulder with a Fibula–a pin with the middle
coiled to produce tension … the forerunner ladies and gennulmen …
to the modern and streamlined safety pin. I’ll tell you this: When man
sets his mind to creating a simple and effective device which will be
used the world over … which is dispensable … which is cheap …
and which will sell by the gadzillions making its manufacturer
wealthy beyond all dreams … there ain’t no stopping him.
You are now surely asking yourselves just how important a role did
the safety pin actually have on the populace. And more
importantly–also surely on your minds–did royalty have any uses for
this device? I know you are all wondering about this because it would
defy all the rules of logic to even think this question would slip
your minds. And so I will tell you … and then I will show you a
bejeweled Safety Pin created by one who surely knew the insane
attraction this would evoke in the hearts of the moneyed privileged.
A palace inventory–in a distant past–once showed that twelve
thousand pins had been delivered for the wardrobe of a French
Princess. It is no wonder then that these pins were in short supply.
Royalty was corning the market. Scarcity was driving up prices. Serfs
were being taxed in order to provide Feudal Lords with enough
shekels to buy more pins.
In Britain a law was passed–don’t know the year–to allow the
marketing of these pins on only certain days of the year. And here’s
a revelation for you, dear reader. Upon the arrival of the specified
day … rich and poor alike came flocking to the market-place with
their carefully saved “pin-money” in order to make their purchases
… bringing home that evening their treasures.
Of course … mass production eventually bared its ravenous teeth …
and the price of pins plummeted … reducing the the value of
“pin-money” to mere “pocket-money” … a term used to denote the fact
that the owner of such funds had barely enough to buy pins … and
little else.
And then–one fine day–a jeweler came along. A visionary if you
will. A giant amongst men who knew that a safety pin was more than a
diaper holding doo-dad used to safely contain spoils most would
rather not see. This safety pin would be a brooch by gosh by golly
… made of gold … and Lapis Lazuli … and nothing else.
Simplicity would elevate the pin to unimaginable heights.
I have an image of it folks. A golden safety pin brooch with Lapis
Lazuli. Worth … around $5000.00. And with the image comes a
question. Where does it belong? On a blouse … or adjacent to a
baby’s butt? I, of course, have my opinion. Let us see if we agree.
I need to know what you think.
For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at www.tyler-adam.com where you will
scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Tidbits Graphics … and then click on the link that says: Safety
Pin … in order to view a Lapis Lazuli brooch which will surely
stagger the feeble heart.
Benjamin Mark