You ever wonder how come it was that whenever the Vikings raped and
killed and plundered and decimated and cheated at blackjack and craps
in Vegas they got away with it? Hmm?
Yeah. Well. It happens that I know. Not only do I know… but out of
the extreme generosity of my benevolent nature … I’m going to share
this knowledge with you. It has to do with a ring. which I am able to
duplicate for thems of you what wants one. and if you ask me real
real nice. I will throw in a little bestowing of magical properties.
So here’s how it worked. To the Vikings the ring was a strong symbol
of power and fame and fortune as well as being able to aid its wearer
in attaining the lofty achievements of corruption and greed.
Odin–supreme god of war and poetry and knowledge and wisdom as
well–I hear–as well as being a pretty good diamond setter … had a
ring which he named Draupnir. Very few knew about the diamond-setting
part. He tended to keep that a secret. sharing with only a very few
select and privileged folks.
Lest there are thems amongst you who wouldst ponder the inanity of
naming a a ring in the first place. allow me to enlighten you to one
of many facets of this ring. You know how it is with women and the
fact that it takes nine months from conception to giving birth? Well.
Draupnir had a similar propensity. Instead of nine months. ol’ Draup
did it in nine days. Yessirree Babaloo. Every nine days Draup dripped
eight gold rings which were clones of itself.
No midwives here folks. No quick screaming trips through rush-hour
traffic to get Draup to the hospital. Nope. Draup just dripped and
dropped its little ringlets wherever it happed to be at the moment.
No shame. No pain. Plip plop. another drop.
These were the rings of heroes. They were emblems of abundance.
Imaging the degree of wealth which could be consolidated if you owed
a gold ring which could plop out eight copies of itself every ninth
day. Heck. You could give up that Chevy and get a Maserati. or a
Lamborghini… or an Aston Martin.
In the old days. before I came around. a dwarf named Sindri crafted
Draupnir while his brother Brokk pumped the bellows. Besides bringing
Odin extravagant wealth… Draupnir also brought fecundity to a land
enveloped in winter bleakness.
Wanna be more fertile. get a Draupnir. Want a Draupnir … ya gotta
ask nice.
So. Who wants to see Draupnir? You know where. www.tyler-adam.com.
Scroll down. Left side. Tidbits. Click.
And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
Benjamin Mark