Okay. To start off let me tell you right now that this Tidbits has
absolutely nothing to do with Panic. Waaall ... except for one teensy
weensy little thang. And so the question is ... how did the word
Panic come about?
There was once in Greece a god older than most who had an enormous
sexual appetite coupled with great stamina (this ... before Viagra
and Cialis were invented folks) and who was said to have coupled with
all the Dionysian Maenads. Now I don't know how many of you have
ever tried coupling with one ... maybe two Dionysian Maenads ... but
I'm here to tell you this ain't no easy task. I've heard tell ...
though I've never read it in a book ... that they're a lusty bunch.
Now when his enemies began lurking in the woodlands our god would let
out a magic shriek so terrible as to instantly disperse those
enemies. The god's name was--of course--Pan ... and the effects of
his magical yell caused Panic. Now how's that for etymology, mes
And so I segue with incredible finesse to a marble statue of our god
as he stands ... hunched over with enormous majesticalness (it's in
the OED ladies and gennulmen) exuding a power that can only be
exuded by the greatest of all studs ... the fornicator of
fornicators ... Pan. By comparison ... Don Juan was a mere speck
afloat in a infinite universe.
Ah ... but what a statue. Our goat-man god is a shaggy-haired,
bearded chap with legs and horns and the tail of a goat. He's
grinning at us over his shoulder ... surely looking around for a
fair maiden to conquer with his charms. His exaggerated facial
expression is typical of the high-baroque style developed during the
second century B.C.
For those great numbers of you who are constantly wondering why they
have never seen a goat for any twenty four consecutive hours ...
this is--as most of you surely know--due to the fact that goats must
visit the Devil on a daily basis in order to get their beards
combed. This is quiz-show folks ... one never knows when
this type of knowledge might come in handy. It is to be stored in
the clutter- closet of your brains to be retrieved when needed. Yes
yes dear friends. This is all true ... else I would not say it.
As to the purists amongst you who are trying to figure out how this
relates even remotely to jewelry ... let me explain. Pan is made of
marble and marble is a precious stone ... and precious stones are
used in ... and yada yada yada.
In any case ... for those of you who are lovers of beauty in an off-
beat fashion ... you must look at this Pan. Some limbs are missing
... probably caused by the wear and tear of his meanderings through
the centuries ... but no matter. The parts of importance are all
still there. I am talking of his brains ... of course.
For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits...may I
direct you to my home page at www.tyler-adam.com
where you will
scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Tidbits Graphics ... and then click on the link that says: Pan in
order to view a godlike statue.