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[TIDBITS] Oh why oh why is the Snake

Oh why oh why is the Snake found on the Crowns of Egyptians Kings

Yes…well…listen folks. Sometimes we wear jewelry…but we
don’t truly know why we wear what we wear. A few issues ago I
wrote an article about Egyptian Diadems and the fact that the
kings of the day picked the cobra as one of their gods. But the
question remains in the minds of many…just exactly why did the
snake become emblematic of Egyptian royalty. Glean the answer
that my friends, and you will know why we, the hoi polloi, also
wear snakes. Okay…ready?

It all starts with Isis, one of the most prominent of Egyptian
deities, who was married to her brother Osirus. However Set,
another brother to Isis, was a jealous type dude, and probably
wanted Isis for his own wife, sibling or not. So he killed
Osiris, ripped him from limb to limb, and scattered his
dismembered body throughout Egypt. The Egyptian gods of those
days were not very pacifistic…as we all are today. Right? Yeah.

Anyway, Isis was distraught, and went through the land gathering
all the parts, perhaps to put him together again…not much
unlike Humpty Dumpty. However, alas, she could not find Osirus’
phallus. Listen, I’m not making this up folks. The old wing-wang
was swallowed by a crocodile…who could be heard all over Egypt
smacking his lips in delight. I have a feeling this might be the
same croc that went after Captain Hook many years later.
Hey…once you develop a taste for something…it’s hard to give

Still, Isis was able to conceive Horus from the dead god…don’t
ask me how. She bore Horus while hiding from Set in the Nile
delta swamps. But she had to leave Horus for a while…and when
she returned…she found him bitten by a snake…which was Set in
disguise. Isis wrung her hands. She asked the sky to stop the
Boat of the Sun, from which Toth alit and cured Horus.

When Horus grew up, he fought Set, and wrenched off his
testicles. Hey. Those guys were brutal…let me tell you. Well,
Set was upset, so he ripped out Horus’ eye and threw it into
outer darkness, where, some say, Toth turned it into a full moon.
Others say the gods made Set return Horus’ eye, and Horus then
adopted the divine serpent (Set) that ultimately became
emblematic of Egyptian royalty…formed in gold…worn as part of
the kings’ crowns…and today…worn by women all over the world.

And now you all know why folks began wearing snakes as
jewelry…don’t you?

And there ya have it.
That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.

Take care,
Benjamin Mark

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