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[Tidbits] How To Time an Egg


How To Time an Egg

First you take an egg … you put your right foot in … you put
your right foot out … Wait. I’m getting ahead of myself. More
important … what is Time? What is an Egg? There. Now we’re on the
right track. We need to know this before we can actually time an
egg. All things in their proper order and all that.

Egg: A thing chickens lay in order to get more chickens? Nay nay. A
thing you steal from chickens and fry with steak and potatoes and
eat with toast drizzled with butter? Nay nay again. A cosmic paradigm
perhaps … a universal womb of the space/time continuum … endowed
with the creative potential of hatching all life. Ahhh. That does
feel better … does it not?

Eggs are the quintessential mythological symbol of birth. The image
of the world as having been hatched from an egg is found all over
… from the Far East to some of the Americas and to–for all I
know–The Intergalactic Planetary Federation (know as the IPF by
those who know these things) which creates mythological tales for
those outer planets beyond the reach of Earth intelligentsia and too
intellectually deprived to have myths of their own.

In Egypt a Goose laid an egg by the Nile which hatched the sun-god
Ra. In Hindu myth a cosmic egg was laid on primeval waters by a
Divine Bird and Brahma was hatched from it. Somewhere in the mid-
west an egg is being laid by a strange looking bird and soon a chick
will be born who will–in her turn–lay more eggs in order to beget
more chicks.

Time: It goes like this: When Brahma awakens from his cosmic sleep
and breathes out … a new universe will come into being.
4,320,000,000 years later … when Brahma breathes in and goes back
to sleep … that newly created universe will cease to exist. This
pithy bit of should come as some comfort to
chicken-little and all his followers who go about announcing the
world is coming to an end. We have some “time” to go folks.
Nostradamus … French seer supreme … who understood time as no
man before or after him ever did … likened the idea that time was
a one way-river that flowed from past to present … from the onset
of Creation to the final moment when Doomsday brought about the end.
1999 … according to Notradamus … was the beginning of the End
Times. Anyone out there see a correlation to today’s Times? Hmmm?

According to the Mayans of Yucatan … Time is cyclical …
repeating itself rhythmically every 260 years. Look back that amount
of time … back to 1742 … and whatever happened then is being
echoed in the present.

All this brings us to the pressing question at hand … to wit: How
to Time an Egg? It’s done like this folks. First you get a silver
egg and enamel it green. You then install some sort of viewing
device. Let us give it a name for purposes of identity … let us
call the finished product a Clock. A quaint monicker … dontcha
think? Put a mechanism inside the egg in order to make the Clock
work … and you’ve created an Egg that tells Time. In other words
… you’ve Timed an Egg.

Alas … the thought is not original. A not so obscure fellow by the
name of Cartier thunk it up first.

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at where you will
scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Tidbits Graphics … and then click on the link that says: Egg-Timer
… where you will see a graphic of and Egg Clock created by Cartier
circa 1907.

And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks. Catch you all
next week. Benjamin Mark

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