Firuzag and the Queen Ant
There is, apparently, no end when it comes to legends as they
relate to precious And of the gemstones that are
around, there is one that seems to cross many cultures, from the
not too distant past of the Indians of Santa Fe to the Persians
of circa 640 A.D. And that stone is, of course, Firuzag: The
Persian name for Turquoise…so named because once upon a time,
in Afghanistan, a turquoise mine was opened by a King Firouz.
Persian belief of that day had it that there were three ways in
which to escape evil and attract fortune. One way was to see the
reflection of a new moon on the face of a friend…but that meant
you had to stay out late one night, miss all the good T.V.
shows, and was based on the simple tenet that one even had a good
friend…a commodity even more rare than a precious stone. A
second way was to see the reflection of the new moon on a copy of
the Koran…same problem but a tad simpler because one did not
have to rely on the availability of another human being.
Still…missing all those good sitcoms was a dratted
inconvenience. Of course, finally, there was the simplest
solution…which was to simply catch the sight of a turquoise
early in the morning. The wonderful thing about legends is that
they often left you an easy way out in your quest for good
fortune. Often, that is…but not always.
There was, once upon a time, as legend goes, a Tibetan king named
Gar who was smitten by the charms of a Chinese princess. Oh…how
he wanted her bod. Alas…so gorgeous a creature was she, that
everyone else in the land wanted her too. In stepped her Daddy.
You want her hand, and the rest of her too, said he, then you
have to solve a series of problems which I shall set before you.
He may not have been as eloquent as I, but that was the essence
of what he said. Of the problems Dada set before the slavering
populace, was one certain difficult one which required the
hopeful–lust ridden–males to thread with silk thread, in a
single pass, and without doubling, the turquoises which lay in
concentric coils on a shield. Oh…this was no easy task…let
me tell you.
They all failed…all of them…except for Gar. He was the clever
one. He contained his lust…and used his mind. No easy task, I’m
here to tell you all. So how did he do it, you ask? Here’s how.
He got hold of a Queen Ant, and fed her with milk till she grew
very large. He then fastened a silk thread around her waist–she
had still kept her figure and had quite a narrow waist–and he
then placed the ant in the perforation of the first turquoise
bead. Then…oh ever so gently…our hero blew on the ant’s
ass–you should pardon the expression–and forced her into the
hole of the first turquoise bead. The queen ant, then showing
the world what royalty was made of, continued on through the
maze, dragging her silk thread behind her, and threading all the
turquoise. Oh…how the crowds cheered as Gar married his Chinese
princess. As to the ant, who had throughly enjoyed Gar’s hot
breath on her rear…it is rumored that she went around the
village asking one and all if they would like her to run another
maze for them.
And there ya have it.
That’s it for this week folks.
Catch you all next week.
Benjamin Mark
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