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[Tidbits] Creature


#1

Creature

Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Who is he?
Why…Superman… of course. But he’s not from here. And he only has
two eyes. And what’s the big deal anyway…this business of leaping
tall buildings in a single bound. We have a creature right here on
earth that can do that and more. And I have a piece of jewelry to
show you depicting our amazing friend.

Alas…he is despised by most…and was even once set up as a
paradigm of unpreparedness by a Greek writer who you all know and
whose name I will shortly divulge. And a song was once written about
him…which some of you may know…and some of you may not. I will
quote the first two lines of that song bye and bye. But let’s get
back to our creature…and to those elements that make him our
planet’s very own Super-Hero. And those of you who might have
wondered why a piece of jewelry was once made in his likeness…will
wonder no longer.

By the way…a cousin of his dubbed Jimmy achieved everlasting fame
for having been able to communicate with the supernatural. This has
been documented…and I very much doubt there is a scientist on earth
who would dispute that documentation…or even Jimmy’s uncanny talent.

Let’s start with his muscular ability. He and his kind have the
ability to leap over obstacles over 500 times their height. In
relation to his size, our friend has the greatest jumping ability of
all the animals that inhabit our planet. A man would have to jump 3000
feet to equal the deed. That’s more than double the height of the
Empire State Building. In addition to this…he has five eyes.
Five…count 'em folks. One on each side of his head …and then
three more…I’ll tell you the locations later.

Superman? Batman? Spiderman? Bah! The whole crew of them ain’t worth
nuthin’. Fact is–as a little addendum that has nothing to do with
jewelry–the only comic super-hero worth his salt is The
Submariner…also known as Prince Namor. (Name sound familiar folks?)
One more thing about our friend…he spits tobacco juice. Yup. You got
it.

And now…for the divulgement portion of this Tidbit. The author who
wrote about our creature was none other than that Great Greek named
Aesop. The tale he told was “The Ant and the Grasshopper”. As to his
five eyes…he has one on each side of his head…one on each
antenna…and one in between his antennae. The song written about
him…and I may be paraphrasing somewhat as it is a gleaned memory of
my youth…went like this" Grasshopper sitting on a railroad track/
Singin’ polly wolly doodle all day…" And as to his cousin
Jimmy…who communicated with the supernatural… why…his full name
was Jimminy Cricket. I have it on good suspicion that they lengthened
his name from James to Jimmy and then to Jimminy…all for publicity’s
sake. As to the tobacco juice spitting phenomenon…grasshoppers spit
out a vile brown liquid know to most kids who understand the nature
of these things…as “tobacco juice”. It is thought to be a defense
mechanism our creature uses when picked up by predators.

For those of you who are new to this thing called Tidbits…may I
direct you to my home page at www.tyler-adam.com where you will
scroll down the left side menu till you get to the area that says
Tidbits…and then click on the link that says: Grasshopper…where
you will see a graphic of our little insect.

And there ya have it. That’s it for this week folks. Catch you all next
week. Benjamin Mark

TYLER-ADAM CORP.–Jewelry Manufacturers
Tel: 1-800-20-TYLER
E-Mail to: webmaster@tyler-adam.com