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Stuck in the middle!

I have been commissioned to make an engagement ring by a gentleman
that lives 1000 miles away from me. We have been emailing and
talking on the phone on and off for the past month. He will be
coming into town at the end of month to meet me with me and confirm
everything that we have discussed. His mother is one of my local
clients. He has emailed me pictures several different styles of
rings. This morning I received an email from his girlfriend. She has
discovered our emails. She emailed me with a picture of the ring she
wants and asked me to sway him away from what he thought she wanted,
without him knowing she contacted me. So indeed I am stuck in the
middle. How would you or have you dealt with this type of situation?
Thank you in advance for your input. Angela Hampton

Ask him to show you a picture of her. Ask hm to tell you about her,
describe her, give you as much as possible. Then, like a
stage conjurer, tell him that with all your years of experience
making engagement rings you think she would prefer…(here you draw
what she wants…) much as you admire his design!

If that fails contact his mother and wise her up!

Tony Konrath

… or maybe she’s concentrating a little too much on the jewellery
and not the man…


Oops! Maybe he doesn’t know her as well as he should for a
prospective bridegroom…


My solution is always to require that I do a personality and
lifestyle evaluation of the person who will be wearing the ring.
Takes me and the other person out of the design process and makes it
work 109% of the time. I rarely need to do more then one sketch too
hit the right design. I have 3 questions I now ask all my clients.
That is all I need…

Panama Bay Jewelers

I think I would be directly indirect. Tell him while maintaining
mysterious yet almost plausible deniability. That is unless what he
asks you to make canbe easily shifted to the design she wants. If it
can’t I’d ask, what if youcould magically know exactly what her
heart desires and then give it to her? When he says that he would
love to do just that, you can show him the design and say, this will
be perfect. Trust me I know.

If he asks how you know, just say that not all things can be
explained. All you can tell him is that you are sure this will be

He may guess that his dream girl contacted you but you’ll never
admit it. Hewill just have to wonder. Mark

If she is reading his email behind his back, this does not bode well
(for them or for you) no matter how you slice it. Can you encourage
her to talk to her beloved about engagement ring styles, leaving you
out of it entirely? He is your paying customer…

I have been stuck in the middle before. What a mess. It ended up
causing me alot of stress. I will never go there again. You need to
stop it right away.

Email the girlfriend and tell her the guy is your client and not her
(be nice). Suggest that she talk to her boyfriend and let him know
what she wants. If she does not want to do that, tell her you could
tell him if she wants, but then he will know that she is reading his
emails. If they can not talk about a ring, then there is not much
hope for the marriage.


One way might be to tell her that you would love to accommodate her
lovely design and make her the ring of her dreams as long as she and
he come to an agreement on it within a certain time frame and let
you know TOGETHER. Otherwise you would need to make his ring design,
instead. Thus giving her this hot potato back where it belongs- in
her hands…

In our discussion the man told me he would be talking to her two
best friends this weekend and getting some input on her ring design.
So this is what I emailed her back. “Good morning Shannon, Let me
encourage you to have a discussion on engagement rings REAL soon
with your 2 best friends. Show them the pics of the rings you love I
would encourage you to text themthe pictures so they will have them
in their possession.”… Hopefully that will direct this in the
proper direction. Thanks for the input. Angela