Hello, J. Sue - -
I totally understand. My husband and I both work from home. And for a
time people did feel they could simply drop by, or keep him on the
phone chatting when he was working. It took a few times of people
walking in and us not being available ( being on a work phone call
and unable to break free) for people to get the message that they
needed to call ahead and make sure we were available BEFORE dropping
by.
There are several different methods you can employ - it all depends
on the people involved, and to what degree you already talk to them
about your work schedule. And how direct you want to be, and what
your patterns have been in the past.
I think that most people are not aware when they are intruding
unless you tell them. If they drop by, it is up to you to either tell
them then, "oh I’d love to see you, but I’m working right now, could
we do tea on Saturday? Or to tell them about it when you are not
working - sometimes I have used the “other people” example. Like
telling someone how you feel when FEDEX drops by and you are
mid-design. Gives you a chance to explain how it impacts you without
hurting the listener’s feelings. Another method is to contact people
who have been dropping by and tell them your schedule has gotten
hectic, you do want to see them, but you now really need to schedule
those things around your work. Seasoning it wil a few “I knew you
would understand” can work for people who tend to complain and get
manipulative. Some people would say that is enabling, and to be
direct. It really is up to you. We tried the pre-emptive strike
method - which did sort of come off like complaining about the
commitments. Things like telling them off hours - say on a weekend -
describing the hectic pace of working at home and also trying to get
things done on the house. What worked better was to be direct, but
pleasant. - Such as:
If they ask for your help during a time when you are working, you
can either, tell them that as you are working, you are not available
this time, maybe next time. OR tell them yes, and when you see them
let them know you will not be as available in the future since you
will now be working weekdays. It is up to you - if you want to
explain that it is about work/jewelry-making or not . But if you do
not, you will be asked. You do not have to explain, you can simply
say you are working, or working towards your new career so you can
get out of the rat race. Up to you…
If you encourage people to understand your situation, the likelihood
your time will be respected will increase. There are many ways to say
"no" - that will sound more like “not this time”, or “not at the
moment” and stil let people know you are there for them and enjoy
their company. You have to hold your ground nicely when people look
put off by it, they will eventually get the message. If you have been
saying “yes” to everything, people will have to adjust to a few
"no"'s . Takes longer with some people, and can take practice on your
part.
The respect with which YOU give your work and time is the respect
you will get from others… But you have to tell them, or they
won’t know!
Best to you,
Mary Beth