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Memories in a wooden bowl


#1

I can’t believe I cried over an email. Ganoksin has made me feel more
normal than I have ever felt in my life. Your email hit home. as
anyone reads this please know there is no bitter tone in this, simply
part of my story, forgive length. I am adopted from birth out of
Tenn. into texas ranching, farming family that had no time for
"frivolity". My family actually had me examined as a child for
autism, because I would be in the garden staringat plants mesmerized
for HOURS,lol (oh well found out about my bee allergy). All our
relatives still live on gravel roads in which I would disappear down
at very young age, still do, bent over picking up and spitting or
licking on rocks, coming back with mouth full of dirt got a doctor
trip for those and tested for mineral difficiencies. When I started
spitting on pieces of wood from the pasture I got psych exams lol.

When I started talking I never stopped asking questions which drove
them nuts, so I got to use tools and needles, basically anything so
they could get stuff done and my stuff was done ( the family
considered me retarded so lol I got off with easy stuff, sorry this
is long winded) whatever got me out of the way. I was given no
allowance, and I wish I could have had a video camera to capture my
adopted fathers face when I found out other kids got one and I
wanted onealong ith the conversation that ensued (oh that one and
when I wanted ballet and a band instrument, I did get band BTW but
it had to be a band issued instrument and that was the bassoon
(those of you ex band members referred to it as “The Belching
Bedpost”, um ya"ll I rode the school bus too) ok to get to the gist,
I evidently didnt let it get me for too long and hey having to make
do with what was there actually gave me a great art education and a
very very thick skin. I was however expected to marry straight out
of high school, but I as too weird for everyone in that town, got
beat up alot, I mean come on, in Louisiana, I was maybe 70 pounds
soaking wet in jr high, dragging a bassoon around LMHO and had a
stupid grin on my face alone. THEN I got to Texas, with adopted
kinfolks who saw me coming since childhood and hey, I ran fast,the
bbs didnt pierce my skin anyway.

My grandparents gave me change here and there, bought with comic
books, so me beads or bought hippie necklaces and tore them apart.
Well ya"ll know where this goes, I wore stuff to school, "hey thats
cool, where’d ya get it etc. etc. etc. Dad never had a lathe and oh
what I would give for one since my hand is now messed up, so many,
many trees with burls on their sides all over the place here at my
disposal. I had risen to a savant sort of status with the idiots in
my adopted family ( but they don’t have any of my stuff either, ok
tiny amount of bitterness) Duane, I once made the comment about
working in a gravel pit, lol and leaving pockets so full I would
barely be able to walk. I finally in my mid-twenties due to an ex
having to go to vocational school, I was exposed to higher learning.
Where the chutzpa to go try to apply came from I’ll never know, but
I did.

Long story short you have to pass an IQ test a WAS-R and a ROCH (?)
I am not saying what the score was but in shock I thought they must
surely be so very wrong.needless to say I had a copy made with all
the reports etc. EVERYTHING, and took it to my adopted family
ROFLMHO. I took Horticulture. went on with my crazy life and here I
am, no I am not famous, yet and may never be. I am slowly setting up
my dream shop here, asthma and this accident has slowed me down
some. I try to read every single email I get from here, at 49 my
mind has never felt so alive and stimulated, just from comments,
disagreements everything, maybe well one day I will feel normal and
excepted, comfortable in my skin. but I have never thought anyone
here is crazy.

I got feedback on a necklace and earring set I beaded and donated to
a childrens charity a couple weeks ago ( I love kids) “outdoors
without Limits” I discovered it through the rehab place I go for my
hand. To me it was something I had made, I have never felt my stuff
is special or especially good, so my eyes are the reaction of others.
They are excited that it may bring good money in the silent auction
at their fund raiser since its different, because they do sports
stuff ( the name and all) and just me offering this was new to them,
lit a light lol. I never expected to, how do I say it? make even a
little impression, I give away alot of my stuff, but to have made a
difference in the direction they will go with stuff they get for the
raffle and auctions in the future.

Hey I made a change. what’s the point of this blathering? maybe to
give a sense of who I am to someone out there, to tell Duane, his
email touched me ? definately. I havent been able to work on my
profile I tried to get in when I first joined and had a problem,
since than I havent had a chance. I am definately going to give it a
shot tonight. Most will b pics from my Blackberry until I can get my
new computer set up. I found this site somehow, thank God I did and
thank you Mr. H. for creating it. To end I as and still am totally
intimidated by the artistry here, whoo, ya’ll blow my stuff out of
the water. all types of jewelry design is my passion to learn and I
will by then end of this year get down to learning all of it one way
or another.

Thanks for letting me ramble.